Page 40 of Someone Like You

When the water was hot enough, he stepped under the spray and held his hand out. I slipped my fingers in his and stepped over the lip of the tub. Sudden nerves gathered in my belly as I looked up at him, but they disappeared when he maneuvered me where he wanted me, my back pressed against his chest and groin, his powerful thighs brushing mine. As the warm water cascaded over us, I let my head fall back to rest on his chest and closed my eyes. I heard the snap of a cap, felt him moving, and let myself fall into the relaxation of letting him take over. He slipped an arm under mine and spread his broad hand across my stomach, and then I felt the brush of a loofa down my right arm, slow, gentle motions that he repeated across my chest, down my stomach, his hand moving to grip my waist. Then he wastilting me forward, washing my back, tranquil little circles that eventually reached my ass.

“Is this okay?” he murmured into my ear. I nodded, and he slid the loofa lower, over each cheek, then gently urged it into the crease. The first stroke against my hole made me jump, and he paused.

“No, I—it’s okay,” I said. I didn’t want him to stop. Nothing had ever felt this good, this intimate. Not even what we’d just done in his bed.

Brody swept the loofa gently through my crease again, and then it disappeared. I felt him moving behind me, and then he was leaning over to soap up my legs, and when he got to my groin, my dick half hard from his lazy ministrations, he was as gentle and methodical as he’d been with the rest of me. Then the loofa was gone, there was another snap of a cap, and both his hands were in my hair.

“Tilt your head back,” he instructed softly. I did as he said, keeping my eyes closed and relishing the feel of his long fingers scrubbing my scalp and washing my hair. I could feel the prod of his erection in my lower back, could feel the heat of it. But it felt like we were lost in a bubble of timelessness, and there was no hurry to do anything except feel and relax and bask in each other.

And in that moment, I realized I’d never known how much I’d been craving this kind of touch.Histouch. Part of me was glad I didn’t know, that I hadn’t tried searching for something that, I knew now, would never compare to what Brody did to me. How he made me feel. That I hadn’t wasted countless hours yearning for something I wouldn’t have found for a long time. And I was so, so happy that, by whatever twist of fate, I had found him. And he felt the same way. Whatever this was between us, I wanted to prolong it for as long as I could.

Sadness tightened in my chest when I realized that this wasn’t something I could have forever. That no one would ever want to tie themselves to someone as broken and fucked up as I was. That I don’t thinkIwas even capable of offering him what he deserved.

But maybe, for right now, we could just…keep exploring this thing between us. Keep enjoying each other. I knew I was getting too attached, and the ultimate end would break me even more, but I couldn’t stop myself from pursuing this. Brody was safe and kind and thoughtful and hard-working, someone who’d been through hell and pulled himself from those hopeless depths and kept on going. Someone I could trust.

Brody’s fingers were gently massaging my head, and then sliding down my neck until his arms wrapped around me.

“Can I wash you?” I asked. I wanted to take care of him like he was taking care of me. No one in my life had ever been as kind or considerate of me as Brody had been. No one. And it was a little selfish, too, because I wanted to soap up that big body of his, to feel every inch of him.

I felt him kiss the top of my head, and warmth snaked down to my toes at the show of affection. “Whatever you want, Isaac.”

I turned around, and he had the loofa in his hands, already drizzling his body wash on it. Water streamed down his shoulders, sluicing over his pecs, through the gaps between his abs, around his outie belly button, and lower. For now, I kept my eyes and my hands focused on his torso. I glanced up and found him watching me, those gray eyes intense and soft at the same time, a dangerous dichotomy that was all Brody.

With circular motions, I stroked over his pecs, taking a closer look at the cherry blossoms stretching and curling across his chest. Then I moved to his left shoulder, where the roots of a tree arced over his deltoid, branches and stems twisting around one another and fading into another picture. A full moon was drawnover his bicep; beneath it and around it was a nighttime scene of trees and clouds and undergrowth, shooting upward. A myriad of plant growth, colored in blacks and grays that faded into his skin tone, were wrapped around his arm. It was eerie and hauntingly beautiful, and I loved it. It faded to black at his wrist, and then his hand was covered in small images that were fitted together, a jigsaw puzzle of various points of interest or meaning for Brody. I saw a tiny skull, a little rose with no stem, and a triangle, among others. He had a few rings tattooed around his pinky and index fingers. A word slicing across the side of his thumb. I brought his hand closer to read it and realized it was two words.

Take notice

I looked up again, and Brody already knew what I was going to ask. “My mom used to tell me that. When she felt like I was too in my own head or having a hard time appreciating things, or when things were hard in general. She’d say, ‘Take notice of all the beauty that surrounds you at any given time. Take notice, because it’s always there, waiting for you to acknowledge it.’ Or something like that,” he laughed. “I got the cherry blossoms ‘cause they were her favorite, too.”

I said nothing because my throat felt too tight, and no sufficient words were coming. Instead, I kissed his thumb, kept kissing up to his wrist, and wished I could take away the pain of the past. He rubbed his hand over my head, and then I kissed his chest and kept washing him. Kept discovering more. I was insatiable when it came to Brody. I wanted to learn everything I could, everything about what made himhim. This wholly unique and beautiful creature with the patience of a saint.

I slid the loofa to his right arm, which didn’t have a landscape, but rather a series of geometric shapes of blues and greens and blacks and reds that twisted and slanted around themselves. They ended in a triangular point in the middle of hishand, where a burst of flowers poured out onto his fingertips. Then I moved back to his abs, to the delectable vee of muscle that came together at his groin and, unable to stop myself, I licked a tiny stripe over his belly button.

He shuddered, his hands coming up to grip my head, but I just smiled up at him and began to lazily clean his cock and balls in the same methodical way he’d done for me. When I went lower and washed his legs, kneeling at his feet, he kept his hands on my head, and I could hear his breathing turn ragged. Still kneeling, I told him, “Turn around.”

His fingers flexed in my hair, and then he let go, turning to face the wall. He braced his hands against the tiles in front of him, spreading his legs a few more inches. I could see his cock hanging in the space between his inner thighs, and the intensity of the urge I had to take it in my mouth almost startled me. But I didn’t. I scrubbed up the backs of his legs, and then his ass, briefly drawing the sponge through his crease. He shivered and groaned, and my balls tightened up. When I did it a second time, he let out a frustrated growl.

“Isaac,” he warned.

I sprang forward and bit his left cheek, and he bucked, letting out a string of curses. Then he turned around and hauled me to my feet, and for a brief moment, panic rose and fear took over. The briefest moment, barely a flicker. But Brodie saw the fear, heard my startled whimper, before I could tuck it all away again.

His face fell, and a not so small amount of self-loathing began to swell in my chest. Because I had a habit of ruining things. I couldn’t even enjoy a simple shower with the man I liked, the man Itrusted, without having the fucking past come show its ugly face again. As if I’d forget it, somehow. And, like the past had spoken to me, I could hear it:Remember me, Isaac? Remember this? You can never be free of me. I will have ahold over you thatno oneandnothing elsewill. You can never escape me. You can never escape yourself.

“Fuck, Isaac, I wasn’t going to—hey, look at me,” Brody said, sounding so distraught it tugged fiercely at my frayed heartstrings.

His hands were cupping my cheeks, his eyes desperately searching mine when I finally looked up at him. I placed my palms on his chest and said, “It’s okay. I know. I just…got startled. That’s all. I trust you, Brody.” I pressed a kiss to his sternum, hoping to emphasize my point while apologizing for ruining the moment.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine. “Okay, baby. I’ll move slower next time. You ready to get out?”

I nodded against his temple, and he stood back up to his full height again, twisting to shut off the water. Then he reached out beyond the curtain and grabbed a towel, drying me thoroughly and wrapping it around me. It was huge and went from my shoulders to my shins, but I wasn’t complaining. The bathroom was still damp and warm, but it would be cooler in his room. He got another towel for himself and then ushered me back to his room. All I wanted to do was fall back into his bed and cuddle against his naked body. Skin to skin. Let myself float in the cocoon of his warmth and safety.

But Brody said, “We should get some food in you.”

My stomach growled, agreeing.

Brody pulled on sweats and a t-shirt—no boxers, I noted—then said, “I’m gonna go heat up those tacos but I’ll be right back, okay?”

I swallowed. “Okay.” I watched him as he left the room, then started digging through my bags for something to wear. I needed to call Jordan and thank him for taking care of me, so I dug around for my phone and eventually found it in a side pocket with my charger and tried to power it on, but it was dead, so Iplugged it in. Then I grabbed a shirt, boxers, and sleep pants and pulled them on.

---