Page 95 of Undeniable

In the alternative version of events I created, the truth usually came out years later. He was always hurt, crushed even, and the tears would immediately begin to fall.

Sometimes—mostly in the months right after everything happened—I imagined that he’d come to the party as he told me he would. In that version of events, I’d told him before… before anything else could happen. In that version, we got a moment, one single moment, to wonder what our lives would be like and how they would change.

I couldn’t have been certain how that conversation would’ve gone, but in my head, he was always caring and considerate. He was willing to make any and every concession I needed of him to make it work.

But there was a particular alternative that was my favorite. He still came to the party, and we’d found out about the baby together. We talked through it, came up with a plan, and then we followed through on it.

We got to follow through on all the plans we’d made and how we’d raise our child as freshmen in college. We made it through every milestone and every moment together was better than the last.

That was my favorite alternative because it was the only one in which I got to keep them both.

And the anger that shined in James’s bright-blue eyes and radiated off him—I’d imagined that, too.

Everything else around us ceased to exist.

James’s hands were fisted at his sides, his knuckles white with the force. His breathing was erratic, and his nostrils flared.

“You were pregnant?” Shock laced his voice, and I held his stare for a long second.

I didn’t want to hurt him, that’s why I’d kept it a secret in the first place, but I could tell he was breaking apart in front of me. I’d had years to grieve and come to terms with what happened, but I still battled with it.

Watching him fall apart was going to break me too.

“Ivy,” he pleaded through gritted teeth and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. I knew what he needed to hear, but I couldn’t find the words, so I nodded.

And he was gone.

He paced across the bar and was out the door before I could even think to move. But when the door slammed behind him, I was instantly rushing after him.

“James!” I yelled, the sobs finally breaking free and making my voice waver.

By the time I got outside and shielded my eyes from the sun, I heard his truck door slam.

I was halfway across the parking lot, panting, tears streaming down my face, when he threw it into reverse. And when he turned out onto the street, my knees hit the pavement.

There wasn’t enough air left in the world to fill my lungs. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned forward. If I could have just disappeared, it all would’ve gone away.

There was a commotion behind me, but I couldn’t be bothered to look over my shoulder.

Everyone was going to know, and I didn’t care. I was done keeping it a secret.

“Ives, babe.” Shelby’s calming voice was the first to pierce my bubble. I glanced up at her, and warm golden eyes greeted me.

“Let’s go inside,” she said quietly, running a comforting hand down my back.

I didn’t acknowledge her, but I also didn’t fight her when she guided me to stand. There wasn’t an ounce of fight left in me.

With her fingers laced through mine, she led me inside. We passed people, but I didn’t really see them or even hear them. I didn’t pay attention until she instructed me to sit on a barstool and I caught sight of everyone watching me closely. But it was Hazel I couldn’t pull my attention from. Her brown hair was swept back from her face and tears shone in her eyes. She was tightly gripping Luke’s forearm with one hand while the other lay protectively over her small bump.

And I lost it all over again.

After that, I kind of lost track of time. And when the tears finally stopped, it was only me, Shelby, my mom and James’s mom, Julie, left in the bar.

“Drink this,” Julie said, sliding a glass of water across the table.

Her smile was soft and apologetic. It made me feel worse for some reason.

My mom and Shelby also wore similar expressions.

---