Page 30 of Undeniable

He chuckled and leaned back on his stool. “Don’t what? Don’t bring up the fact that every time she’s around, you become a different person? That it’s more than obvious to everyone that there’s something more going on?”

My sigh was loud enough to shake the place, but Devon’s shit-eating grin didn’t falter.

Ivy was the one subject I refused to bring up for nearly thirteen years. Those who didn’t know of her weren’t an issue and even my friends—who knew only that we used to be friends and that our mothers were still friends—knew not to bring her up. Yet there she was, thrust into my life once again. And now that my friends had met her, now that theylikedher, there would be no escape.

I was trapped in my own nightmare.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing’s going on.”

He scoffed and peered at the TV across the bar. “Okay, fine. Nothing may be going on now, but something happened.”

“It was thirteen years ago.”

“Thirteen years ago or not, it was enough to make you look like you were about to chase after her. Like the idea of her going on a date with another guy is the worst possibility.”

“That’s not—”

“Don’t try to deny it. I know you better than almost anyone,” he rightfully argued. The very last thing I wanted to do was discuss the past, but with Luke, Reed, and Josh still missing, it was the best opportunity to get him off my back.

A small part of me hoped that maybe talking about some of the details would help me move past it. But after thirteen years, I knew it was only wishful thinking.

“We grew up next door to each other. Her mom and my mom are best friends,” I began, and Devon did well to hide his surprised expression. I was as surprised as he was that it hadn’t taken more of a fight to get me to open up.

“Her twin brother, Forrest—”

“She’s a twin?”

I nodded. “Yeah, her twin, Forrest, was one of my best friends. Me, Ivy, Forrest, and this other kid, Brendon, were always together. Until we got to middle school and the last thing Forrest wanted was his sister hanging around. So, the three of us made it a point to leave her out, and eventually, she found her own friends. Anyway, it continued that way—her keeping to herself while the three of us kept to ourselves—until our senior year of high school. We got paired up on this project, and… things changed.”

Like they always did when I talked about Ivy, the memories threatened to consume me. Each memory laden and heavy with regret. But instead of shutting down like I’d become accustomed to, I persevered.

“She…” I began and decided I wanted to let him in on more than I had initially planned to. “She was all I could think about. She legitimately became my every thought. She actually went to our senior prom with Brendon and that was fucking brutal. It was kind of the catalyst for everything else. I couldn’t resist her after seeing the two of them together. All I wanted to do was spend time with her.”

I took a deep breath followed by a long sip of my drink. I appreciated Devon’s silence while I relayed the story and the fact that he wasn’t actually looking at me while I spoke. He watched the TV across the bar or stared down into his glass just as I was.

“We spent a little over a month together after we graduated. We did fucking everything together for that month and kept it a secret. Well, for the most part… we figured if no one else knew, it would be easier when it ended.”

“I’m guessing that was your bright idea?” Devon asked.

I nodded, and it was all I was willing to tell and more than I’d ever uttered out loud. Except for that one guy in the dingy bar bathroom in college who really caught me on a bad night. But unlike that guy who told me I was fucking crazy, Devon wasn’t judgmental.

“How’d it end?”

“I made a mistake. One that she couldn’t forgive.”

He nodded and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but I shook my head. He knew I wasn’t going to say anything else about it.

Across the bar, Reed and Josh came into view, walking toward the back bar. Josh held up a finger, telling us that they’d be one minute before they disappeared again.

“That’s the most you’ve ever said about her.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like discussing it. Reliving my mistakes…” My words trailed off.

“I just have one last question.”

My relief that he was going to let me off the hook vanished, and I finished my drink, concerned about which question was going to come out of his mouth.

I waved at him to continue. “You can ask, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”

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