Page 101 of Undeniable

“I had my reasons,” I said, abruptly cutting him off.

“I understand you hated me, but I could’ve been there.” His tone wasn’t accusatory or angry—unlike mine. He dropped his hands from my face but didn’t step away.

“You would’ve dropped everything.”

“Hell yes, I would’ve,” he interrupted, but I continued louder.

“And that’s the problem. Had you known that I’d lostourbaby, or if I had taken that test and known beforehand, you would’ve been there. But you didn’t want to be with me anymore. I thought you’d only wanted me for one thing. I even told you that I hated you, but deep down, I alsoknewyou. I knew out of some warped sense of guilt, you’d push all that aside and stick with me. You didn’t want to be with me, yet you would have been because I was the one that had the miscarriage.”

Tears were threatening once again. And God, was I fucking sweating. My black Murphy’s Law T-shirt and jeans did nothing for me against the thick Texas heat.

“I wish you would’ve told me.”

“Part of me wishes I had, too. But we were so young, James. Neither of us was equipped to handle any of it, and I did the best I could. But I didn’t see why it was necessary that we both carry this.”

He nodded and stared up at the tree behind me, seemingly lost in thought. It was a lot, I knew that, and I wanted to give him time to process it. But I was also impatient.

After a minute or two, he finally asked, “Who else knew?”

“My mom, your mom, and Shelby, but don’t be angry with them. After everything that happened, I told them you shouldn’t know, and they weren’t in a position to argue with me. I swore them all to secrecy. If you’re going to be angry with someone, be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry with you, Ivy. Or with them.” His voice was steady, and I was inclined to believe him. Yet he was standing with his hands shoved into his pockets and a look on his face like he was ready to flee at a moment’s notice.

“I keep thinking about what I would’ve done or how I would’ve reacted. I probably would’ve been surprised, or better yet, terrified, but we would’ve figured it out. I would’ve supported you no matter what. But…” His voice trailed off, and he leaned back against the truck. “I didn’t even give you a chance to tell me. I knew the moment I heard your voice over the phone I’d made the wrong decision, that’s why I showed up at your house as quickly as I could. And I knew I was wrong not to fight and follow you into that house after you told me you hated me. I shouldn’t have cared if you hated me or not. And now, knowing what happened afterward, I… I should’ve been there. I should’ve known because I was there beside you the entire time. I don’t know howyouaren’t angry with me.”

I managed a soft chuckle, and thankfully, some of the tension dissipated with the sound. “I was angry for a while because, like you said before, being angry was easier than feeling anything else. And the fact that every time I looked at you, all I could think about was the secret that I was keeping and that you didn’t want to be with me. I resented you because you didn’t know. Although I’d been the one to make that call, I felt stupid for protecting you when you didn’t seem to give a shit about me.”

“I never meant to make you feel that way. I still, to this day, cannot recall saying anything about you to anyone. And Brendon… he told me that he made it up. He and Forrest lied to make sure you wouldn’t take me back.”

I nodded, and my anger flared. “Forrest told me, too.”

“And you didn’t have to protect me.”

“I know,” I said quickly. “But there was no reason why both our hearts had to be broken.”

My eyes were steady on him, and he met my gaze with one that was also unwavering. There was no anger, no lingering resentment or frustration. The only thing between us was that undeniable connection urging us closer.

In the span of a breath, James made the decision. With two easy steps, he was in front of me, hands tentatively lifting until one gripped the side of my neck and the other cradled my cheek.

Slowly, he scanned my face, pausing longer on my eyes and my lips before he said, “My heart was already broken. It happened the moment I left you.”

His expression was soft, and his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. I wanted his lips on mine more than I thought I’d wanted anything before. My hands gripped the front of his shirt, and there was a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before he put me out of my misery.

It was the first truly honest kiss we’d shared. With no secrets left between us, it felt better than any kiss had before. He tightened his grip on me and brushed his tongue against the seam of my lips. Eagerly, I opened for him and moaned when his tongue slipped against mine.

But a car accelerating down the street made us both take a breath.

Still close enough that our breaths mingled, James hummed and pressed his forehead to mine.

“You’re so strong. To go through something like that when you were so young…”

I tilted my head back and shrugged. “Some days are better than others. Like today’s rough, and tomorrow is even worse, but sometimes I’ll go almost an entire day without thinking about it. The grief, though, never really gets lighter. I think I’ve just gotten used to carrying its weight.”

His thumb brushed down my cheek while his other hand made its way down my side, stopping to grip my hip.

“You’re resilient.”

I closed my eyes and said, “I wish I didn’t have to be resilient.”

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