Page 78 of Unforgettable

With his elbows still propped on his knees, he pushed his hands through his hair and gripped the back of his neck. Taking a few more steps back, I closed the door with a soft click before crossing back to him.

His brow furrowed when he peered up at me, letting his hands fall back to his lap.

“Adam could come home at any time, and I don’t want to be interrupted. Or if Reed decides to bring Zach up here, it’s just a precaution. Now, spill. Tell me what’s going on.”

A small piece of his dirty-blond hair had fallen forward in his frustration, and my hand itched to push it back into place. And rather than resist like I had for so long, I gave in to the urge and swept my fingers through his soft hair, putting the piece back where it belonged.

But my hand lingered, brushing down the side of his face and resting on his cheek, enjoying the stubble along his defined jawline.

When God made that man, She did a damn good job.

“Amanda, we don’t have—”

But I stopped his argument by leaning down and teasing my lips against his. It was just a taste, a promise even. And yes, I was going to use whatever methods necessary to get the truth and figure out a way to make it better. Even if those methods were sometimes frowned upon.

The touch of our lips was fleeting, and Josh groaned when I stood back up.

“You’re playing dirty,” he remarked, eyes finally fluttering back open.

“Tell me what’s going on, why Reed thinks it’s absolutely necessary we talk now, and I will gladly show you just how dirty I can play.”

His chuckle was my sign that I was getting somewhere, as was the way he wrapped a palm around my thigh and scooted me closer. Positioning me between his open legs.

There was a contemplative look on his face as his left hand came up to wrap around my other thigh, and his thumbs massaged into my skin.

“Sam’s giving me a hard time. It’s nothing new—the usual wanting me to drop him off or pick him up at odd times that we never agreed upon. And then wanting me to cut my time short for something she has planned. We’ve figured out all of the financial stuff involved in co-parenting, and we communicate fairly well on a regular basis, but there are still some issues we’ve run into, especially lately.”

He gulped and shook his head, that same damn piece of hair falling forward, so I again pushed it back into place and cupped his cheek. I used the pressure of my hand to force his gaze back to me.

Maybe I was going crazy, but I thought I saw a sheen of unshed tears in his eyes.

“All of that, along with everything happening between us, has got me thinking about… the future. And before you freak out, I’m not talking this year or even next. I’m just sayingsometimein the future because when you have a kid, you have to think long term even if you don’t know exactly what tomorrow is going to hold.”

I nodded, but only to urge him to continue, not because I actually understood where he was going with his future talk.

“Since he was born, I’ve had to contemplate every relationship more than I ever would have before because now he’s the most important thing. If I ever get serious with someone, it comes with a lot of thinking about how that person would fit into our lives.Bothof our lives.”

A sense of clarity washed over me that I was thankful for. It was a heads-up to what was coming next.

“I’m worried that there’s a possibility you won’t choose me. And not just because you care more for Reed or because we don’t have something because, at this point, both of those things would be bullshit. I’m scared you won’t choose me because choosing me also means choosing Zach. It means you would be a stepmom and love my son like I do. At least, that’s what I would want out of this. And I get that’s a lot to take in, but like I said, these are the decisions I have to make. Things I have to think about.”

I swallowed around a knot in my throat and croaked out, “You’re scared?”

His nod was slow and genuine. “Because Reed doesn’t have that. He would be the easy choice, honestly. You’d easily fit into his life without having to worry about Sam or learning how to be a stepmom to a six-year-old. Reed’s one person, albeit he’s a lot to deal with,” he said with a weak chuckle. “But he’s one person. I come with a whole fucking football team worth of shit.”

TWENTY-FOUR

Amanda

I openedmy mouth to say something but immediately snapped it back shut. Because who the fuck was I kidding? I didn’t know what to say.

I was embarrassed to say that I hadn’t even contemplated what I would be walking into with Josh. He was right—if I wanted to pursue something with him, I’d better be damn sure it was the real deal. He had Zach to worry about and even Sam to an extent.

I could feel the flush creeping up my cheeks, embarrassment at my lack of forethought rolling through me.

But although I was annoyed at myself and would later chastise myself relentlessly for not thinking about the one person Josh always put first, the anxiety and fear I thought I’d feel didn’t come.

Was I ready to be a mom? Absolutely fucking not. I’d just gotten a new IUD, which meant there were no babies happening in at least the next three years. But being a stepmom, beingZach’sstepmom, was something different. Especially if it meant doing it with Josh.

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