Page 49 of Unforgettable

Something even as simple as listening to her talk about movies gave me a giddy, heartsick feeling. It made me feel like a teenager, but I was old enough to at least be able to identify the feeling. And it wasn’t something I could ignore. I wanted to continue reminding Amanda that I was serious about her, and the best way I could think to do that was by telling her every chance I got.

“I like you, too,” she whispered.

“I just wanted to make sure you knew that.” I shrugged as she took a long sip of her cider.

“I’ve actually wanted to ask you about something. Being in your office the other day had me thinking about it and then you offering Adam the job.”

“Sure. Ask me anything.”

She hesitated for a moment. “Is it hard to work at Murphy’s? It’s just that your office is right down the hall from…”

From the room where I killed Valerie. Where I saved my brother and Hazel and accidentally shot Valerie in the head during our struggle for the gun.

A familiar chill ran through me as my thoughts drifted to that night.

I swallowed thickly and shook my head, trying to dislodge the memories. “Most of the time, no. I have my good days and bad days. But as of the past few months, there are more good than bad.”

Most of the time, I was fine, but then there were times it was like a tidal wave, and I was back there: trying to keep my breathing quiet so Valerie wouldn’t hear me; the weight of the Taser in my hands, the sound of the electricity buzzing through her body as I tried to keep her subdued; the deafening bang as the gun went off, followed by the mind-numbing silence; and the color of the blood draining from her bullet wound and pooling around our feet.

The same thing happened when my parents died. One minute I was fine, and the next, I was overcome by images of my dad shooting my mom, my mom fighting my dad, and sending two shots through his chest before they both died.

Even though I wasn’t there, the knowledge that it happened was enough. That and watching my mother be tortured daily by his incessant abuse.

“Have you ever thought about leaving? Finding a job elsewhere to get away from it? Start over?”

I sighed and thought for several long seconds before responding. “I’ve thought about it, but I won’t.”

“Why?” Her question was automatic and a good one. It didn’t make sense to most people why I would stick around after so much bad had occurred.

“Because,” I said simply. “I don’t give up that easily.”

She nodded thoughtfully and we eased into a loaded silence, like each of us wanted to say more but didn’t know how.

Wanting to move on from the topic, I said, “I need to FaceTime Zach. He’s in Michigan with Sam and her boyfriend. Do you mind?”

Amanda immediately whipped her head in my direction and smiled. Watching the corners of her mouth tick up, I knew we were in the clear. There was hope yet, and relief washed over me.

“Yes, I’d love to see that kid.”

I held out my arm, inviting her back to her earlier spot tucked into my side as she scooted closer. She didn’t hesitate in pressing her body against me.

FIFTEEN

Amanda

Why didhe have to smell so good?

We’d been sitting outside for nearly two hours and yet he still smelled like he’d just hopped out of the shower.

AndGod, why did he have to be so honest? So heartbreakingly honest that it actually made my heart hurt.

“Auntie Manda!” Zach’s little voice squealed over the phone.

“Hi, Z-man. How’s it goin’?” I laughed as he completely ignored his father and squealed my name over and over again.

“Pretty good. It snows a lot here, and I played in the snow almost all day! It was really super fun until I got so cold that my fingers hurt. But then we went inside and Travis made a fire and that helped my fingersandmy toes. It gets so much colder here than it does at home, but I don’t think I like it very much. You have to wear too many clothes, and it takes too long.” He spoke on one breath and took a huge gulp of air when he’d finally finished his long thought.

The kid was cute and had so much energy he was hard to keep up with. He also spoke a mile a minute and only correctly pronounced approximately half the words he used. Along with his slight Southern accent, you had to pay close attention to catch every word.

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