Page 117 of Unforgettable

Although I was confident in the three of us, I wasn’t delusional to think that we weren’t going to run into people who didn’t understand it. People who would threaten to make our lives more difficult. The more prepared we were for the worst possible case scenario, the more likely we were to survive it.

The maintenance guy flirting with me, for instance, would be the least of our worries.

“I seriously don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks,” Josh said with conviction. My eyes, though, immediately found Reed’s.

“Reed?”

His deep breath was heavy as he scrubbed a hand across his jaw and then through his hair. “I want you. Fuck what everyone else thinks.”

For a moment, I watched him, but there wasn’t any part of him that made me think he wasn’t telling the truth.

I nodded, and for the first time in a long time—maybe my entire life—my heart felt whole. “Like I said, choosing between the two of you was never going to happen. And when the three of us are together… if this is what you want, then I’m all in.”

Their smiles were instant and both of them stepped forward like that’s all we had to talk about, but I held up my hands, taking a step backward. “Uh-uh. We’re not done. Stay right where you are.”

They both began arguing, so I put on my teacher face—the one I used when my students were being unruly and weren’t listening—and waited. After several seconds, their voices quieted, and they waited for me to speak.

Men and twelve-year-olds both had a lot in common.

“I’m really glad you both want to be with me, but there’s something else going on… between the two of you. And we can’tnotaddress it.”

Reed, with his hands braced on the counter in front of him, let his head fall forward between his shoulders while Josh straightened, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweats and looking to his left, away from me and Reed.

Silently I let them sit with their thoughts and tried my hardest not to feel dejected that they didn’t immediately begin talking and recounting their feelings. I knew it weighed heavily on them both. I already had a hard time reconciling the fact that my feelings for two men were strong enough that I wanted them both. I couldn’t imagine the weight of feeling something completely new—feelings for a friend that were no longer just friendly.

The new circumstances seemed to mean more questions than answers, and I knew they’d both be struggling.

But staying silent about it, brushing it under the rug and hoping that at some point it worked itself out would have been detrimental to our relationship. We would have never stood a chance.

“I’m not saying that I want you both to declare your feelings for one another like this isThe Notebookor something. I just… I think you should at least acknowledge the fact that something’s there.”

“This is hard to talk about,” Reed muttered under his breath. Out of the corner of his eye, Josh glanced in Reed’s direction, which I took as silent confirmation that he agreed.

When he didn’t say anything more, his knuckles white from where he gripped the counter, I searched for a solution—one that would get them talking, if possible.

“Look,” I said, crossing to Reed and watching Josh out of my peripheral. “I’m not going to force you to talk, but if it makes it easier, then I can leave or—”

“No,” Josh interrupted from behind me. Peering over my shoulder, I watched him glance back and forth nervously between me and Reed. “We should talk, but you shouldn’t leave.”

“Okay, well then pretend that you’re just talking to me.” Turning back to Reed, I continued, “We had a pretty good conversation last night when it was just the two of us.”

Finally, Reed let go of the counter and turned to me, propping his hip against it. His fingers trailed down the back of my right arm and loosely gripped my fingers that were barely poking out of the sleeve of my sweatshirt. He was silent as he peered down at our joined hands. With his thumb, he rubbed back and forth against the smooth red nail polish on my middle finger.

I could feel the heat of Josh’s stare burrowing through my clothes and into my back. Like me, I knew he was anxiously waiting for the next words out of Reed’s mouth.

I was honestly slightly surprised that Josh hadn’t already spoken up. Out of the two of them, Josh wore his feelings more on his sleeve. He’d told me before that it was a waste to hide your feelings.

But I figured that, like me, he was treading carefully, waiting to see what Reed had to say before adding his own thoughts.

“Last night wasn’t planned,” Reed murmured, still staring at our hands.

“You don’t say?” I quipped sarcastically.

His eyes flashed to me, and I felt a slight pang of guilt. “Sorry. Sarcasm is my defense mechanism and my default during awkward situations.” I squeezed his hand. “Please continue.”

His lips quirked in the faintest of smiles, but it quickly passed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Reed so nervous. There was even a small tremor in his hand, still idly playing with my fingers.

The last thing I wanted was for either of them to be nervous—I just wanted them to feel whatever they were feeling.

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