Page 108 of Unforgettable

“I like it because it smells like you.”

My heart stuttered, and I hugged her harder.

“You like the way I smell?”

She chuckled against my chest and sighed. “Honestly, there’s not much I don’t like about you.”

“I find that hard to believe; I thought you knew me better than anyone. But especially after the shit I’ve caused…” My words trailed off as I ground my teeth together. The fact that Amanda was in my arms and not screaming at me in frustration was more than surprising. I expected her to question everything and be furious with my actions.

“Why? Because you kissed him?” She pulled back and peered up at me with wide, deep-blue eyes. Again to my surprise, there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in her eyes or in her voice. For a second, I waited to see the condemnation or a flicker of pain or anger. But it didn’t come.

Reaching up, I brushed all of her hair behind her shoulders and gripped her neck. My thumbs traced the line of her jaw. She was so relaxed compared to me. I could feel the weight of everything bearing down on me.

When I went to respond, to say yes that I’d fucked it all up, the words wouldn’t come. So instead, I settled with a slow nod, hoping she could read the apology on my face instead of in my voice.

“What are you worried about?” Her expression didn’t change much, which could have been good or bad.

But it was a question I had to actually use words to answer. A shrug wouldn’t have conveyed anything at all and probably just frustrated the shit out of her.

I cleared my throat and chose my words carefully. “What I’mnotworried about would probably be easier to list. The list of shit I’m worried about is never ending.”

Slowly she nodded and worried her lower lip between her teeth. “I’m not sure if this helps at all, but I had an idea that something was going on. Or that somewhere along the way your friendship had changed. I’m not quite sure when I realized it was a possibility, but when I did, all the arguing and lingering looks and overall change in attitudes seemed to make more sense. It’s why I did what I did with pulling Josh away and… making sure you found us together. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.”

Her confession stunned me, and again, I couldn’t find the words to clearly communicate my thoughts. She’d known? How had she known when I’d only realizedIwas feeling more than friendship feelings a few hours before?

My mind spun at the idea that I’d unknowingly given signals to the woman I was pursuing that I fuckinglikedmy friend. Or was at least attracted to him.

“I can’t tell if you’re going to faint or puke. Either way, do you want to sit down? Maybe head into the bathroom?” She began to pull away, but I tightened my hold on her neck.

“No, I’m okay. This just… I wasn’t expecting you to say that. I’m still trying to come to terms and figure out how I’m feeling. But it seems like you already know.”

She laughed and the sound was pure delight. “I don’t have it all figured out, but I’ve had a suspicion for a while.”

“That’s crazy. And you’re not mad?”

“It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed. And I can’t imagine what it would be like to witness you two go even further.”

A bolt of nervous energy shot through me. Going further with Josh simultaneously sounded amazing and terrifying. I’d never been with a man before—or even looked twice at a guy—so how the fuck was I supposed to know how it all happened or what to do?

“Okay, no, no. That’s if you want to,” Amanda said soothingly, gripping my face in her palms and forcing me to look back into her eyes. “I’m down for whatever, and I’m not going to push anything on you. Either of you, but I also can’t deny that the thought of the two of you together is a serious turn-on.”

For several seconds, we stood there silently. Each of us held on to the other as I attempted to get my head around the gravity of the situation.

Amanda wasn’t mad. She was not only okay with it but she was aroused by seeing us together and the potential for more.

“But what if… what if… outside of the bedroom… we—”

Sensing my struggle, Amanda said, “What if it’s more than sexual chemistry and attraction? What if you care about him more than a friend? Maybe similar to how you care about me?”

I nodded, and she smiled. Never before had I found myself attracted to a man the way I was attracted to Josh. Liking the same sex was a foreign concept until recently—until him. I hadn’t once noticed the way another guy’s throat bobbed when he drank or the way his hands and strong fingers flexed.

I couldn’t remember a time that I craved the sound of another man’s laugh or company the way I did Josh’s.

And although I still struggled to reconcile each new feeling with what I’d experienced before, I knew without a doubt that it wasn’t just sexual attraction.

“Then I’d be even happier.”

“But you know that this doesn’t change anything about the way I feel about you.God, this is so fucked. I still want you more than I’ve wanted almost anything. Ever. I—I don’t want to push you away.”

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