Page 116 of Unexpected

“But you didn’t.” My words were quiet, and I wished I could muster up some sort of confidence, but it wasn’t possible.

“No, I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to you. I’ve seen you hurt, and I swore I would never be the person to do that to you.That’s the reason I told you about Valerie in the first place. My first thought was to just break it off, go cold turkey, but I knew it would hurt you. I knew you’d internalize it and assume it was your fault.”

He was right, that’s exactly how I would have reacted. And although things between us had escalated even in the past week, a week ago, I still would have been upset if he’d disappeared.

“So, my next best option was to tell you. I wasn’t going to completely leave the decision up to you, but you deserved to know what was happening and have input on what would happen next. I’m not going to control you or make decisions for you. So, when you said you’d want to see where this goes, the selfish part of me agreed. That decision was also based on incredibly different information, and Hazel, I refuse to put you in harm's way.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up a hand. “Wait, just let me finish and then you can say anything you need to.”

Reluctantly, I nodded and shifted to sit on my legs. “I’ve already talked to the dumbass detective that doesn’t seem to give a fuck about it anymore. I texted him right after Blakely told me. He said he’d reach out to her, but she’s got to talk to him and thenmaybethey can do something. But until Valerie’s behind bars or fucking dead, you’re in danger.”

He took a deep breath, but I could tell he wasn’t finished. I also didn’t know if I could form words, so I waited for him to continue and all the while, I tried to come up with any sort of solution.

“My fear is that she’s planning something big for one of us. That she’s gone silent because she’s biding her time, and at this point, I wish I could end things with you. I wish I could walk away.”

His words hit me like a fucking train and my entire body tensed. His hand was still on my knee, and he must have felt my reaction because, finally, his blazing green eyes met my own.

“If it meant it would keep you safe, then I’d do it in a heartbeat, beautiful girl. I would hate every fucking second of it, and I would be utterly miserable, but it would be nothing if it meant she wouldn’t go near you. I can handle her threatening me. But I can’t handle her doing the same to you.”

His hand shifted from my knee, and he tangled our fingers. Staring at our intertwined hands, he said, “But I think we’re past that. I think no matter what, you’re going to be in danger. But I’m leaving it up to you. If you want to end things, I will understand. I would continue to do what I could to protect you, though, even if you didn’t want to be with me. Even if…”

I couldn’t lie to myself and say I didn’t contemplate the decision for at least a moment. My self-preservation instincts told me that flight would likely be the best option in the situation in front of me. But my heart and the rest of my body were telling me something different.

What he was saying made sense—I was already a target whether I was with Luke or not. What didn’t make sense was distancing myself from the one person who swore to do anything to keep me safe and made me feel safe.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, and my voice sounded more confident than it had in my head when I’d only thought the words a second earlier.

I didn’t know what I expected Luke’s reaction to be, but the solemn head nod he gave me was not it. I knew it was his internal turmoil that provided his less than enthusiastic reaction. He didn’t like that either of us had to choose, given the options presented or lack thereof.

“If that’s the case, then we need to do more to make sure you’re safe.”

It made sense, but I was wary of his suggestions.

“My first instinct is to have you move in here with me and Josh. Most often, at least one of us is home which means you’d have someone with you twenty-four seven.”

The idea, in theory, made sense, but I had just gained a small bit of my independence back. It was independence that I craved and thoroughly enjoyed and really did not want to give up.

“Do I have another option?”

Luke chuckled like he expected me to ask just that question.

“If you don’t move in here, then I’m going to all but move in with you. I’ll be there every night and we’ll add extra security. Those are the two options if you still want to be with me.”

Butterflies set flight in my stomach at his final words, “be with me.” They sounded good coming out of his mouth and in his deep voice.

“That’s a lot of work for you and what about Sadie?”

“I’ll bring her with me. She loves the car and you.” I was sure my apartment would have an issue with overnight pet guests that weren’t on my lease, but that was a problem we could solve once we got there.

“Let me first say that it’s not so much that I don’t want to move in with you—”

Luke shook his head before I could finish my statement. “You don’t have to explain. I get it, and that’s why I came up with a second option.”

With the decision made and the most realistic plan agreed upon, I tried to focus on what I could control. Valerie was clearly out of my control and her actions were her own—there was nothing I could do at that moment to stop her.

I could, however, control my reaction to the situation and how I handled it. Those stupid fucking podcasts I listened to about healing and blah blah blah taught me that, and I wanted to put it to good use. If there was ever a time to try, it was then.

Lost in thought, I stared at our intertwined fingers and the stark differences. Luke’s hands were large, his fingers were thick and were obviously worn, as were his palms which were littered with calluses. The backs of his hands were dusted with black hair and his knuckles were covered in scars and marks. The scars were old and had long since healed and turned a cloudy white.

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