Page 71 of Unexpected

My dad and I had a strained relationship for no other reason besides him constantly working when I was a kid. His work as an engineer took him to different countries every month and when he was in the U.S., he still spent more hours at the office than he did at home.

My parents’ marriage didn’t seem to suffer, at least from what we could tell, but his relationship with me and D was rocky. I still loved him, but it was always from a distance. Thankfully, I never felt uncared for or unloved, especially since my mom smothered both my sister and me.

But the call from my dad, even in those circumstances, was a surprise. When my phone rang, I was preparing to receive bad news about my STD test, but my dad’s name scrolling across the screen had even more anxiety slicing through me.

“Hi, Dad,” I said quietly while packing up another box of clothes. It was my fourth and I regretted not donating more because I knew I wouldn’t have room.

“Hi, honey.” I hadn’t heard his voice in a while. It seemed gruffer and more aged. “How’s it goin’?”

“Umm… it’s going fine, I guess. How are you?”

“Not too bad.”

There was a short silence where it sounded like we both took deep breaths and prepared for the conversation ahead.

He was the first to speak again. “Your mom told me,” he said, and then added, “actually your mom told me and then Delilah berated me for not calling sooner. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it, Dad. I wasn’t expecting a phone call.” It wasn’t meant to come across as dismissive, but I think it might have been based on the way he grunted in response.

“I’m sorry, kid.” His voice cracked, and the emotion in just the short apology made the muscles around my heart clench.

I had to clear the emotion from my own throat to respond. “Thanks, Dad. But you don’t need to be sorry. None of this was your fault. The blame solely lies on Michael’s shoulders.”

“I know, but still…” He trailed off. My dad was always a well-spoken, articulate man; he never stumbled over his words and commanded attention when he spoke. For him to trail off, lost in thought, I knew he had to be struggling.

“Situations like these are difficult on everyone involved. I understand it’s a lot.”

I heard him take another deep breath over the line and then I thought I could make out a sniffle. The sound was quick, barely even a sound so I couldn’t be sure. I’d never seen my father cry.

“I should have done more.”

“Dad, there’s nothing you could have done. We were here and y’all were there…”

“I should have seen this coming. I never liked the prick all that much,” he said with clear disdain in his voice.

That was news to me. He never outwardly showed signs that he disliked Michael in the years we had been together.

I chuckled. “It’s becoming clear that a lot of people didn’t like him and just never told me.”

“I should have told you. I was trying to protect your feelings because it looked like the two of you were so in love, but I should have pushed all of that to the side and protected you. A father never wants something like this for their daughter. I don’t want to make this about me, because it damn well isn’t about me, but I feel like I’ve failed you. You’ve grown up to be a beautiful, caring, selfless woman, and you never deserved this.”

A single tear slid down my cheek as I let his words wash over me. I slumped on my closet floor, leaning against the wall between two full boxes of clothes, as I pressed the phone harder to my ear. It was probably the most my father had ever said to me at once.

“It means a lot to hear you say that, Dad. But I don’t blame you, so you should try not to blame yourself. I’m going to be okay.”

We were both silent for another long moment, but I swear I felt something shift between us. I hoped it would be a new opportunity for something so much better between us.

“Just know that the next person to come into your life is going to have a hell of a test to pass before they get the okay from any of us.”

I laughed, and surprisingly he also chuckled down the phone. My mind immediately thought about Luke and if he would pass my dad’s new tests. I’m sure he would, although I knew we had a long way to go before those tests would be necessary. Either way, the idea made me happy.

“I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“I love you, honey,” my dad said, and more emotion swept over me.

“I love you, too, Dad.”

We said our goodbyes, and I stayed situated between those two boxes of clothes for a while after I ended the call.Something about hearing those words from my dad and knowing he didn’t fault me for my failed engagement healed a small part of me.

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