Page 111 of Song of the Dark Wood

“Since you were turned over to the elders,” he mumbled.

Rowan stumbled back a few steps to the very edge of the trail. The only sound was the swirl of snow through the branches above them and her heartbeat in her ears. The grief hacked at her, but she could not fall apart in the middle of the Dark Wood. Conor was probably back in his keep, feeling her broken heart as clearly as if it were his own. She didn’t know if that was a comfort or something to fuel her humiliation.

She sank to her knees, the snow instantly soaking through her wool stockings. She bit her lip to focus.

Cade’s eyes darted around the periphery. “I know you’re mad, but we should get out of the forest. Your grief, misery, betrayal—all of it will attract danger.”

Rowan couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the way her life had been blown apart in a matter of moments.

“Say something,” Cade said.

She finally met his eyes. “I banish you, Cade. I banish you from my presence. I banish you from Aeoife’s. I banish you from my entire life. Begone, demon.”

Cade swallowed hard as he faded into smoke, and she was left alone in the Dark Wood. It wasn’t permanent, but it bought her time to figure out how to force him to leave her for good. It would give her time to figure out what to tell Aeoife, who’d become quite attached to the demon.

A rustle in the brush behind her urged her to her feet. She stood and tore down the trail back toward Ballybrine. She sighed in relief between sobs when the ivy-covered Maiden’s Tower came into view.

Mrs. Teverin opened the door of the tower and took in her teary eyes and red dress. Her mouth formed a grim line.

“There now, love, let’s draw you a bath,” she said.

Rowan surprised herself when she wrapped her arms around the woman and sobbed into her shoulder.

“Shh, let’s get you into the washroom. If Aeoife sees you like this, there will be no consoling her. Just a few more minutes, okay? Then you can tell me everything.”

Rowan nodded miserably and followed the woman into the tower.

28

ROWAN

Rowan didn’t leave her room in Maiden’s Tower for two days. She was too exhausted and depressed to face the world, and as restless as the town was, she wasn’t sure she could face them in her red dress and keep her hurt under wraps.

Mrs. Teverin was good enough to leave her to her sulking, only stopping by to drop off meals and detangle her hair.

Rowan couldn’t muster the enthusiasm for much of anything. She made time to read to Aeoife at night, but other than that, she stared at the wall and wondered how she’d ever been so foolish to trust Cade. She’d always known he was a demon. He’d told her repeatedly not to trust him.

It was easier to cultivate her anger toward him than to think about Conor.

Rowan had the dagger within her grasp, had been presented the perfect opportunity to use it, but she’d let Conor live. She’d believed him. He’d convinced her that she was worthy of gentleness the world had never shown her, and as soon as she relaxed into it, he yanked it away. It was unbearably cruel.

She didn’t ask the Wolf to be anything other than himself. She’d gone in expecting nothing but cruelty. He’d been the oneto convince her there was another option. He’d given her a garden, told her things could be different for her. It was a lot to offer her just to use her.

Every time she tried to make sense of his betrayal, she ended up more lost. Her anger at Conor warred with her rage at Cade.

She knew that Cade would always do whatever served him best, but she’d never suspected that their entire friendship was based on what it could get him. She’d always thought that they kept each other company—a means to a lonely end for both of them. But now, she was the same to him as she was to everyone else; a pawn to use for some larger gain.

At the bottom of it all, she was mostly just furious with herself. She’d let the first glimpse of kindness in her life throw her off course.

“You’re not a killer,” Sarai had said, but that was before, when they were talking about Elder Garrett. Perhaps her friend was right, but if Rowan wanted to live, she would need to make herself into one.

Cade’s betrayal had broken her, but Conor shattered her. Now she needed to sharpen herself into a weapon to wield against them both. It was with that purpose that Rowan dragged herself to her practice space on her third day back at Maiden’s Tower.

Rowan sat at the piano. She stumbled through several pieces she knew very well, but her fingers felt too heavy and her voice was tight with grief. Nothing worked as it was supposed to. She jammed her fingers down on the keys in frustration.

The air in the room warped and bent, and there was a flash of light as the Mother appeared.

“You’ve got some nerve showing up here today,” Rowan snarled.

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