Page 103 of Song of the Dark Wood

CONOR

Conor stood suspended in the doorway, staring at Rowan asleep in his bed, feeling as afraid to leave as he was to stay. He’d temporarily lost his mind to lust and let her curl up to sleep in his bed once she’d bathed. Now his fresh sheets—and likely his whole room—would smell like her. He’d allowed her to take over the only Rowan-less room in the entire keep.

He feared if he blinked, she’d disappear. Rowan was too good to be true, and he was certain he was moments from waking from a rare, pleasant dream. Still, he felt her contentment as his own through the bond she shared with him. At least he hadn’t shared his blood with her. For now, their connection remained one-way. The last thing he needed was for her to know everything he was feeling. If she knew the extent of what he felt, she’d be impossible.

Rowan’s full lips tugged up in a gentle smile even as she slept. Her auburn hair pooled around her like a halo. She shifted, and the blanket slipped down, revealing the pale skin of her shoulder.

Desire perked to life at the hint of her nudity. He was not even mildly satisfied with the little of her he’d allowed himself.

Conor cursed and dropped his head back against the doorframe.

“Afraid of your little conquest?”

He startled at Charlie’s voice.

“How did you know?” Conor asked.

Charlie chuckled. “As if I could miss all that moaning. Sounded like she enjoyed herself.”

Conor narrowed his eyes at his friend. He didn’t like that anyone else had witnessed it. The territorial way he felt about Rowan was unnatural.

“I thought you’d be more relaxed, considering,” Charlie said, waving a hand at the bed. “I just wanted to check in on you. It seems you were successful in not sucking the life out of her.”

Conor nodded. “I don’t know if I can do it again. It was hard enough to keep my composure, and she seems determined to tempt me until I lose my mind.”

“By sleeping?” Charlie challenged.

“She offered to bond with me.”

Charlie choked on a laugh. “And you took it? Are you truly out of your mind?”

“Yes. That’s what I’m telling you. I think I made a mistake. Even right now, all I’m thinking about is fucking her and devouring her life force. Once she’s awake, I’m going to feel everything she does.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Charlie asked.

Conor grimaced.

“Mother’s tits! You actually have feelings for her.”

Conor shook his head violently.

Charlie laughed. “Youdo. Little Red is under your skin.”

Conor scrubbed a hand over his face. He did care for her, and that would not do at all. He needed to stop caring as soon as possible. His emotions had only ever served to create destruction, and it would be no different for her.

The best he could do was approach her with the same cool indifference he had in the beginning. The problem was that was what he’d been trying and failing to do for weeks. He only succeeded in popping up out of nowhere, kissing her, and then disappearing again to stew in his own self-loathing.

It would be so much easier if he hadn’t killed an elder, if they hadn’t sent Rowan to stay with him, if there was anywhere on the island that was safe for her.

He’d cursed himself for the deal he’d made with the Mother so many times he’d lost count. He’d been a different person then, a mortal-turned-god, hardened by centuries of fighting and loneliness. Conor hadn’t counted on the way the Maidens had taught him about kindness, duty, compassion. He’d become dreadfully soft.

Rowan needed him to be who he once was, yet even though he knew he’d be her destruction, all he could think about was climbing into bed and curling around her.

That sweetness competed with the darkness inside him that wanted to kiss her awake and make furious love to her in the way he’d held back from doing earlier. He wanted to show her who he really was. He wanted to drag her down into the darkness with him. He was afraid she’d go—that she’d like it as much as he did.

If one of them didn’t act as the voice of reason, things would spin out of control fast.

“What are you thinking about?” Charlie asked with a grin.

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