Page 78 of The Ripper

“In your head, yes. But in his head, it’s been years,” he closed his eyes for a moment. “Grimm doesn’t just lower his head and pay eleven million euros to stop a war from happening for just anyone. He doesn’t kill to protect someone, not like he’s killed for you.” He looked me firmly in the eye, and I shivered. “My son doesn’t protect, my dear, not usually. It’s not in his nature. He thrives in chaos, loves to cause it, and he revels in it, so I had to see who was so special that she could tame that side of him.”

I was too shocked to say anything, and the questions piled up in my head in a continuous loop. He stopped a war. A war for what? Between whom? He paid eleven million euros. What? How? And when?

I sat down in the chair as a wave of dizziness passed through me and looked down at my feet, because I was unable to hold Nikolai’s gaze as flashbacks crossed my mind on a loop.

“Arella?”

He was standing by the door when I looked up.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for saving Klaus’ life. I am eternally indebted to you, so if you ever need anything…” he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

With that, he left, leaving me speechless and shocked.

*

The rest of the day was uneventful, and after an appendectomy and a gall bladder removal, I finished my shift, my head still in pieces.

Grimm hadn’t come to pick me up, because he was apparently stuck in a “meeting”, and knowing what that meant in his profession, I decided to walk home, shower, and change before heading to Klaus to see Fleur.

I didn’t have my car.

I’d left it at the warehouse when I went to patch Klaus up, then Grimm apparently appointed himself my driver.

Not that I minded the walk; I always found walking relaxing and used it as an opportunity to reflect on things.

And so, I did.

I tuned out the world around me and fell into the trap of thinking about my choices and how they might affect me in the future, or how they brought back memories of… No. I shook the thought away, even if I couldn’t ignore the fucking irony of my life. I’d fallen in love with a member of the Bratva, and not just a soldier, but the heir to the throne.

I thought about the fact that I became an accomplice to murder, even though I swore an oath to do no harm, and while I wasn’t directly involved, I did everything in my power to prevent justice from being served. Sure, Fleur killed her husband in self-defense, but when I made the decision to involve a mafia member, I undoubtedly became an accessory to murder.

I thought about the fact that while I swore an oath to protect, respect and save lives, I didn’t care about the fact that my boyfriend was taking lives left and right.

I thought about my father and how he used to repeatedly tell me that every decision we make in life would one day become the fruit of our success or the last nail in our coffin.

It seemed like the devil did a little dance the day I took off my cross necklace and sent his most powerful ally to claim me for the dark side, because I didn’t feel any remorse for the men I saw lying in a pile of dead bodies in the warehouse that day. I also didn’t feel any ounce of remorse for the death of Fleur’s husband, quite the contrary, I was happy about it.

I was happy that he turned to ashes while Grimm had his head buried between my legs, just a few meters above the crematorium. I wasn’t ashamed about the dirty things I allowed a criminal to do to me, nor that I wanted him to do it again.

It seemed like my decision to allow him into my life dragged me into a life of sin, and what was more shocking than anything was the fact that I really didn’t care.

I should have. Fuck, I knew I should have.

Whether Grimm would be a fruit of my success or the final nail in my coffin, only time would tell, and I was determined to find out, because I couldn’t resist the magnetic pull between us.

I couldn’t deny him, push him away or avoid him.

And I didn’t want to.

*

After getting out of the shower and putting on a blue dress that ended a hand’s width above my knees and a pair of sandals, I was ready to go.

With my purse in one hand and my phone in the other, I stepped towards the door and froze in my tracks when the handle rattled a few times.

I gulped audibly, then silently walked back to the safe I had under a frame on the wall.

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