Page 27 of Forbid Me

What struck me as odd was the scarcity of young men. In any other setting, they would have been the majority, the protectors and providers. But here, their absence was a gaping hole. One I should consider. But the lack of threat as the boat pushed off the bank promised me a moment of respite.

Stella had stayed close, her arm entwined with mine, sending jolt after jolt of awareness through me, straight to the hungry panther inside. I knew I should discourage her dependence, maintaining a distance to remind me of her impending role in Panthera. But every instinct in me rebelled at the thought. Her proximity felt right, necessary even. I justified it to myself as a protective measure. She was, after all, safest by my side.

Our greatest threat was a boy who didn't come up to my chest and was actively trying to hide his tears. There hadn't been a single sign of Ken or the other vampires, mostly thanks to the sun high up in the sky. It would set in a few hours by the time we reached the shores of the Quad cities, which was just under two hundred miles from Chicago where we could take a train direct to Portland. The journey up the river would take the rest of the day. I needed that time to rest and recharge.

I reached for Stella's hand, which was resting on my biceps. My intention had been to loosen her hold on me. But when my fingers touched hers, her golden gaze swung to me. I was wrong about there being no dangers on this vessel. With just one glance, this woman had me ready to fall to my knees to do her bidding.

"Stella, I need a moment."

"Me, too. I've been needing a bathroom break since we came on board. I think they're over there."

She gave my arm a tug. I nearly followed. Planting my feet on the creaking boards of the boat, I halted her forward momentum like my body was a dropped anchor.

"I'm going to need some space."

"Space?" Stella's brow furrowed, confusion and hurt flashing across her face. "Did I do something wrong, Oz?"

She reached up to her hair, pushing at the perfectly styled strands. Then her fingers glanced down her outfit, which was as pink and bright as when I'd first seen her crossing the street. I caught the subtle hints of the fabric tightening here, loosening there. Contouring to her figure to highlight some assets, like pressing her breasts upward.

I ground my molars, wishing it was Ken's jugular between my teeth. "No, it's not you," I said, the words feeling like ash in my mouth. "I need to rest."

"Right. Yes. Rest. I'll come with you."

"No. Go freshen up." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew they were the wrong thing to say. "I mean, take in the sights. Relax for a bit. You're safe. No one on this boat will harm you. I need a minute to regain my strength. Do you understand?"

"Mmmh-hmm," she hummed.

I knew she didn't. She wouldn't meet my gaze. The sparkles from her fingertips that had been tailoring the bust of her top dulled and then fizzled.

I felt like an ass. But it was for the best. She wasn't mine.

As Stella walked away, her shoulders hunched. Her head hung low. I felt a chill settle over me, a premonition of the loneliness that awaited me once she was truly gone from my side. I had pushed her away to save her from heartbreak. But also to set her up for the life she deserved, as queen.

I found a place on the opposite side of the boat. It gave me a vantage point that I would be able to see her no matter where she was. Even though I planned to rest, I doubted I'd close my eyes for long.

The air of the river should've been fresh. Instead, it was a mix of dead fish, stagnant mud, and whatever else was in the process of dying in the waters. The sound was a contrast, though. Even thoughit stank, the water lapped gently against the boat's hull. Death could be a quiet business.

As the boat sliced through the calm waters of the Mississippi, I took a moment to observe the surroundings. The riverbanks were adorned with trees, their leaves shimmering with the morning dew under the gentle dawn light. The world was waking up, shedding the remnants of night to reveal the day's splendor. Yet, the scenic beauty did little to calm the storm raging within me.

The further we journeyed, the more acute the reality of our predicament became. Stella was right there, within arm's reach, but it felt as though a vast chasm lay between us. I found myself caught in a relentless tug-of-war between my allegiance to my king and the magnetic pull Stella had on me. Every fleeting touch, every shared look, was a torturous pleasure.

I snuck a peek at her now. It was a mistake, of course. Both man and beast were captivated by the way the early sunlight bathed her in a soft, otherworldly light. She appeared contemplative, her gaze fixed on the river, seemingly adrift in her thoughts. I wondered what she saw in those reflective waters, what future visions were dancing before her eyes.

The engine of the riverboat rumbled beneath me, its steady hum blending with the soft splash of the waters as we sliced through the river. I couldn't get comfortable. Stillness was not my thing.

I made my way to the deck, my eyes assessed every passenger aboard. My gaze swept over the women’s attire, searching for any bulges that I might have missed. Even in this second scan, I didn't find any hint of concealed weapons. My eyes scrutinized their hands for signs that spoke of familiarity with combat. My every sense was on alert, parsing each sound, each movement for hints of danger.

Among them, a woman stood out, her scent unmistakably human. Humans had become a rarity, even in their native realm, and her presence in this group was notable. There was no trace of magic about her, just the simple, unadorned essence of humanity. She kept to the shadows, never giving anyone her back.

Scattered through the crowd were a few shifters, their postures relaxed. None bore the distinctive smell of predatory beasts like myself. They were of the milder kind, perhaps birds or small mammals, their magic subtle and unobtrusive.

My gaze lingered on another woman, her demeanor hinting at something delicate. It was the delicate features that had me suspicious. I suspected she might be a fairy. Fae kind had bonds with nature. However, the air around her was free of any toxic whispers, the kind that sometimes clung to the fair folk like an unseen shroud of menace for those with power over poisons.

Once again, I concluded that there was no immediate danger to Stella. My shoulders relaxed slightly. The constant vigilance ebbed but never fully dissipated. I regained the seat on the opposite side of the boat, positioning myself where I could keep a watchful eye on her.

I sat there, my muscles coiled tight, ready to leap at the first sign of trouble. As the journey continued, the sun rose higher, bathing us in its warm light. I kept my gaze on Stella, her very presence a balm and a curse all at once. I thought I was born to protect the king. I saw now that my true calling was to protect my queen. I contented myself with that thought for now.

I might never feel the brush of her lips against mine or feel her body move beneath me. But I'd never needed that. I'd only ever wanted to have a purpose in this life. She was that. I would lay down my life for her without a second thought. It was that thought that soothed me.

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