Page 26 of Forbid Me

"What I want is to get you to safety, to get you to the palace. Then we can talk of futures."

There was another moment of silence between us. The only sounds were the gentle lapping of the river against the bank and the distant calls of night birds. The humid air was thick with the scent of wet earth and growing things. But now it was tainted with thebitterness of unspoken words and unfulfilled desires. Either he didn't want kids, or he didn't want me. Possibly both.

What was so wrong with me that every man in my life used me? That when I said ‘I love you,’ what they really said in return was,I love what you're going to do for me. That when I found my fated me, he had buyer's remorse.

I was a good person. I had a good heart. Sure, it constantly picked wrong, but after every time it got stomped on or discarded or broken, it picked itself back up and tried again. That had to count for something. Didn't it?

"I know I can be a bit much sometimes." I looked down at my mud-stained shoes. "I can tone it down if that's what you need. Be less... high maintenance."

Oz's reaction was immediate. He rounded on me, his hand shooting out to lift my chin so that our eyes met. "Promise me something, Stella."

"Anything," I agreed without knowing what this man would say. But if he would just try to love me, I'd give him anything. Which, yes, I knew, was the root of my problem. But all I'd ever wanted in this world was to be loved.

"Promise me you will never dim your light for anyone." His voice was low and fervent. "Not for me, not for the king, not for anyone. Your spirit, your strength, it's part of what makes you who you are."

He didn't know me, but I wanted to be the girl he thought I was. His words resonated deep within me, a warm glow that countered the chill of my desperation. I was drawn to him, the space between us charged with an unspoken connection. Our faces were inches apart, the pull between us undeniable.

"I know that." Truly I did know my value in my head. That wasn't the problem. "But sometimes I have trouble believing, which makes it hard to act on the knowledge."

His eyes softened as they regarded me. His thumb caressed my cheek back and forth, soothing the hurt that was sodeep within. Somehow, this man managed to touch it. I wondered if he had the same trouble with inner light as I did.

I cupped my hand over his, trying to warm the light inside me so that I could share it with him. "I don't need a palace if I'm with the man I love. I could live the rest of my life in that shack back there if I'm there with the person who loves me back."

Oz's gaze softened as he looked down at me. The eye contact was steady, not invasive. Not probing to see how to manipulate me. Yes, I knew each time Ken or my past lovers were manipulating me. I just pretended not to because I wanted to—needed to—believe that this time it might be real.

This time, with Oz, it might be real. I could believe he loved me.

One by one, his fingers lifted to lace with mine. I think he'd meant to take his hand away, but I had his hand cornered. He could've slipped my grip. Instead, he spread his fingers to make way for each of mine to join him at the knuckles.

His proximity was intoxicating, sending my senses into overdrive. The sound of the river faded into the background. All my focus was on the man in front of me.

He leaned in, his breath mingling with mine. The moment stretched out into an eternity. I thought I would've been impatient for our first kiss. But this felt like the moment right before an orgasm, that slow climb up a mountain before jumping off into oblivion. I could've stayed here forever.

I was literally on the precipice. Our lips were just a second away from meeting. But just as our lips were about to touch, someone cleared their throat and shattered the moment.

An old witch appeared on the riverbank. It was crystal clear she was a witch. The magic oozed from her pores. Including the illusion spell. She was not as old as she looked. Just as I wasn’t as clean as my dirt-less clothes made me appear.

Oz pulled me behind him, but his claws didn't come out. He couldn't scent the illusion on her. But her hands were in clear view,palms up on her dark cloak. She broadcasted that she meant no harm. But something about her still sent a shiver down my spine.

"You seek passage." It wasn't a question. She knew. She likely had foresight, too. "I can get you on the next riverboat going north."

"What's the cost?" Oz asked, posture still defensive as he stood in front of me.

"Blood," croaked the witch.

Oz held out his forearm. "Take mine. It's panther blood."

The witch’s eyes flicked to Oz's arm, then back to me. "No, hers is more valuable, a powerful witch and panther royalty."

CHAPTER 18

Oz

The vessel was sturdy. Its wooden structure bore the marks of countless journeys down the Mississippi. The deck stretched out invitingly, leading to a modest cabin at the back. The steamboat, with its broad, flat bottom, was designed to handle the river's moods, its shallow draft perfect for the varying depths we'd encounter.

We waited for an age as the crew refueled with a new spell. The opening of the portal stretched its unpredictability even this far as magic behaved contrary to how it was meant to. That gave time for others to board.

I assessed the potential for danger with each body that came onboard the boat. The majority were women, their faces etched with lines of worry and fear. They held their children close, whispering words of comfort and reassurance or hushing their youths into quiet so as to not have others take notice of any weakness.Among them were the elderly, their steps slow and measured, supported by younger relatives or walking sticks. By all appearances, I was the strongest and most dangerous on board.

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