Page 7 of Operation: Integrity

He slowly stood and offered his hand. She held backbut only for a second before accepting the help to stand. She rubbed the back of her head, but it didn’t hurt that bad.

“Did you hit your head?” concern laced his voice.

She gritted her teeth. “It’s only a bump. I’m fine.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

If only that were actually true and ‘fine’ wasn’t a total lie.

Chapter Three

With long strides, Sam headed for the back of his cabin to the small storage closet next to the dining room. Inside, he kept all the equipment he needed for hiking. When the weather was good, he’d take a few dogs up the trails, let them run and be dogs for a while. Today, he had no time for watching anything but where he placed his own feet. He just needed a few moments of quiet, some time to think.

He stuck his head into the dark recesses of his closet and hunted for his equipment. The weather had only recently shifted to the point of needing winter gear, and it was still buried underneath what he used in the spring, summer, and early fall. With a few grunts and swallowed words he shouldn’t say, he tugged what he needed free of the closet.

Shoving his foot into his hiking boot, he grumbled about how long he was taking, knowing that he wasn’t really angry about the time, but how he felt. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything for Kelly. He was supposed to step aside and let her heal. Why was hefeelinganything?What kind of a monster allowed himself to be attracted to a woman when she was clearly hurting and wanted nothing to do with men, possibly for the rest of her life?

“Me. I’m that monster.” He jabbed his thumb into his sternum and shook his head. He’d told himself he couldn’t feel anything for her anymore. Not since she’d cheated on him. But helping her had not been the same as the women he’d helped before. She was a victim, yet his mind and heart couldn’t separate the fact that she was also Kelly, the one he’d wanted to marry. The one he’d loved.

He finished lacing his boots and shrugged on the jacket he wore for hiking, grabbed his walking stick, the tracker he clipped to his coat in case of injury, along with gloves and his emergency backpack, then headed out the patio door. Making sure he’d secured it, he went for the trails that led in various directions away from the main house.

When he reached the kennels, Zeus, a large rehabilitated German shepherd, barked for his attention. The other dogs made themselves busy with the various toys in the run, but Zeus wanted nothing but Sam’s attention. Sam unlatched the gate and let the dog out, despite his desire to be alone. He couldn’t walk past a dog who wanted his attention.

Usually, the dog’s joy at being near him would’ve immediately bolstered his mood, but today Zeus’s energy seemed more than he could handle. Zeus ran ahead, then stopped and looked back at Sam, tilting his head to the side. His long ears looked strange, like they should flop, but they didn’t.

“I’m not in the mood to run today, boy.” Sam tried not to sound gruff. It wasn’t Zeus’s fault that he was angrywith himself. Zeus just wanted to be a dog and do dog things with the guy who usually let him.

Zeus gave a single bark and sat, waiting for Sam to catch up. Sam picked up the pace, allowing Zeus to choose the trail. He wasn’t in the mood to make choices, anyway. Sam’s mind wandered back to years before when Kelly had been his world. No other woman had given him the time of day. He wasn’t flashy. He wasn’t pushy. He wasn’t an athlete.

She’d been bubbly, friendly with everyone. There wasn’t a soul who couldn’t be her friend, at least peripherally. He’d let her be the sunshine to his shadow. He preferred staying out of the limelight, which made them a great couple. She was the talker, the one who got them invited to parties. The trouble was, he’d noticed that many of those people were little more than acquaintances. None of the people who took all her energy knew her well when he asked them questions.

Now that he thought about their history, the man he’d seen through her window wasn’t anyone he’d ever seen her with before that day. He hadn’t known the man. Over the time that they were close, he’d gotten to know all her friends, including one he’d warned her about on multiple occasions. Kelly had argued with him about Jasmine, claiming she wasn’t really trouble, she wastroubled. There was a difference, according to Kelly.

Had Jasmine been the issue all along? Sam stopped in his tracks and looked around, noting how far he’d gone. Trees surrounded him, and Zeus sniffed the ground about twenty yards ahead. Nothing seemed out of place, but the chill in the air and the environment didn’t work its usual therapy on him.

He wasn’t an angry guy. He didn’t yell and never usedhis fists. His father had taught him to walk away from situations with hot heads because circumstances where emotions were high would get him in trouble. Kelly had only proven that true. He’d let his emotions have free rein and look where it had gotten him. A broken heart and no chance at love again.

He stuck his walking stick into the dirt and took a deep breath then let it out in a puff of vapor. Zeus trotted up to him and sat on Sam’s foot, pushing the top of his head into Sam’s thigh to look up at him. The utter trust on Zeus’ face stabbed Sam in the heart. He had to do better.

Kelly deserved the chance to heal. The past was the past and it should stay there. No matter his feelings when he looked at her. No matter the clench in his chest when she looked so vulnerable and hurt. He wouldn’t act on that. She was a guest. There were rules specifically meant to keep the Wayside men from this situation and to protect their guests from advances. He just needed to follow them. Be accountable.

He’d go back, take a hot shower, then go and talk to Connor about his plans. He couldn’t be the one to help Kelly if she had any chance at all to have the kind of experience at Wayside she needed. He wouldn’t keep her from that. It was too rare. If he had to leave, he would.

Zeus whined and pressed his back into Sam’s leg, letting him know he wanted to go further. It hadn’t been half the walk they usually took. Sam scratched Zeus behind his soft ear, and finally smiled down at Zeus.

“Okay, boy. Let’s go.”

Zeus leapt off toward the trail and raced ahead, but always circled back so he stayed within sight of Sam. They walked down toward the river and stood up on the high bank. The narrow river was partially frozen over already,only the center flowed, the water looking much darker than the ice.

Sam shivered and his breath puffed as he let himself rest for a moment. Once his breathing was back to normal and his feet felt slightly cold, he knew it was time to return Zeus to his warm kennel. He needed a hot shower himself. With a sharp whistle, Sam called for Zeus to return.

Within seconds, Zeus’s head poked from behind a tree. His ears perked up until they pointed completely straight, like he could hear everything for miles around. Sam whistled one more time and Zeus bounded toward him.

He never really stopped training any of the Wayside dogs. Even great adherence to training could falter with a bad day, too much stimulus, or an outside force like other dogs. Sam dug in his pocket and held out a treat for Zeus, then gave the whistle for him to heel.

Zeus never missed a cue when a treat was involved, so he immediately followed the command. Sam rewarded him for his good behavior, and they headed back toward the ranch. Maybe that’s what he needed, a little positive reinforcement for good behavior. If he could do what he needed to, what was right, then he could reward himself with some time off or a good, long ride on his horse.

Sam let his shoulders relax. He might have been on the wrong track before, but he didn’t have to stay there. He’d always tried to be a good guy. The unsung hero. The one anyone could turn to. That was practically his persona. So, now he needed to be that guy for Kelly.

---