Page 40 of Operation: Integrity

Chapter Eighteen

Kelly’s eyelids felt very heavy, but the warm blanket surrounding her was like heaven. She slowly opened her eyes to find herself in her own bedroom, with candles strategically placed around on the tables and dresser, a plug-in heater off to the side and directed at her made her feel so sleepy she wanted to drift right back off to sleep. A woman she didn’t recognize perched on a stool nearby.

“Hello. I’m Dee. I’m Brendon Ruse’s wife, and I’m also a nurse. You scared us pretty bad tonight.”

How she managed to say all that with a smile was beyond Kelly. She could barely smile to introduce herself. As Dee leaned forward and reached for Kelly’s wrist, pink slashes of scars became apparent across Dee’s face. She must have shown some surprise, because Dee immediately backed away. “Sorry. I should’ve warned you.” She turned to the side so her face was in shadow.

Could this woman have been trafficked too? “I thought I was the only one? If Brendon already married someone who was a victim, why are they so worried about Sam?”

Dee looked confused for a moment and covered both of her cheeks with her hands. “I wasn’t trafficked. Just assaulted.” She took a deep breath. “But you’re proving that Brendon was right the whole time. For that, I’m grateful.” Dee brought her smile back but didn’t lean into the light. “Can I check your pulse and your pupils? I didn’t want to leave you alone, because I was afraid of how much pain you’d be in when you came around. I don’t want you to be embarrassed.”

Oddly, she hadn’t even realized she had no clothes on under all the blankets until Dee had mentioned how she might feel. “Is Sam here?” She tugged the blanket closer to her chin.

Dee nodded and stood, keeping her face turned toward the shadow. “There are clothes folded on that stool in front of the heater so they’ll be warm. I’ve been slowly bringing your temperature to normal since we brought you back. You’re very blessed. I was surprised that you weren’t showing more symptoms of frostbite, especially with hypothermia.”

“It wasn’t that cold until the snow hit me and the flakes were big and wet.” Kelly leaned forward and realized she had many layers of blankets on. Dee nodded, giving Kelly the impression to stay where she was for just a moment until she left. As soon as Dee slipped through the narrow crack of the door, Kelly finally got out from under the weight of the blankets.

Outside, the sun had already set. It had been light when she’d left for her walk that early afternoon, though her memory was spotty. She looked at her wrist, only then remembering she’d given her watch to Sam. If she knew him, he’d destroyed it. He was all that was good. He didn’t cling to evil things in the hope that they would be good.

Which meant he wouldn’t cling to her either.

She tip-toed quietly across the room and tugged on the loose-fitting sweatpants Dee had left for her. The plug-in heater looked older than the hills but was pumping out an impressive amount of warmth. The cabins were probably very old and retrofitted for everything modern. Sometimes modern and old didn’t fit so well together. Her sweatshirt was equally warm, but the outfit left her feeling slouchy and sleepy.

She made her way out to her living room to find that Dee had left, and Sam was the only one still there with her. He immediately stood and rubbed his hands down the sides of his thighs like he’d be sweating. Now that she thought about it, the room was really warm. “Gracious, we need a fan in here.”

He laughed softly. “Dee set the temperature; I just lived with it.” He went to the thermostat on the wall that controlled all the baseboards in the small cabin, though she’d never quite gotten the hang of making it work right.

“There, back to normal. It stopped snowing about an hour ago and we now have over a foot of heavy, wet snow on the ground. Since you’ve never lived here in the winter, I wanted to warn you that one of the guys will be coming around at about 4 A.M. to shovel all the front steps of the cabins. Since we never know when people will come, we do all the front steps. It’s easier to remove snow as it happens than to wait until there are feet of it to clear. It can get loud though, so, fair warning.”

There was Sam, thinking ahead for her comfort again. “Thank you.”

“Are you all right? I can camp out on your sofa tonight if that would make you feel safer.”

Light had no business with the dark. Wasn’t thatsomething that preacher had said on Sunday? Don’t hide your candle under a bushel, that’s not where it goes. Something like that. All she knew was that her own self and her own soul were as dark as they could get and maybe she belonged under that bushel. “I’m fine.”

Sam grinned and ducked his chin. He was adorable when he did that. “Fine, huh?” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I suspect that’s Kelly-speak for ‘I don’t want to tell you what I’m feeling because it’s complicated and I’m scared.’”

She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, slightly indignant. How dare he understand her better than herself? That wasn’t even fair. “So? Maybe I don’t want to drag you into the black hole that is my existence. I guess I’m healing though, because even a few months ago, if the same thing had happened, I’d have cursed you for saving me.”

His face went from joking to serious instantly. “First, it wouldn’t have happened because he wasn’t about to let you free. Second, I would’ve mourned as soon as I found out.”

Would he? He hadn’t been happy to see her at all when she’d arrived.

Sam shook his head. “I can see you’re surprised. I would’ve been, too So, I’m glad you’re here to give me the chance to sort through the feelings I didn’t realize I still had.”

Feelings? She’d felt the pulse between them, but she’d assumed that was because he was the only one she could trust. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be in a place where I can face those kinds of feelings again.”

“I don’t expect you to. But I want you to know that there are people who care about you. There are peoplewho think you’re worth fighting for. You are worthy. You matter. Your past is your past and no matter how much you’ve convinced yourself that you did this, you didn’t. It was a trick. A lie. He manipulated you. I won’t believe anything else. Let us help you heal. You may never be the same Kelly you were. That’s okay. Be the new Kelly who knows Jesus and has let Him work a healing.” Sam reached out to her, his hand low like he was reaching for a child.

He had to have known that shoving his hand into her space would make her recoil, but she truly felt welcome to touch him and there was no force behind it, mental or physical. It was a symbol of welcome to become something she never thought she’d be again: innocent.

Kelly reached out and took Sam’s hand. Invisible sparks surged up her arms to her chest and she let herself feel them, though they were terrifying. “I shouldn’t be near you, Sam. I’m going to pull you into my darkness and I don’t want that.”

“You won’t. I’m stronger than that. Why don’t you let me help you walk out of the darkness and back into the light?”

Good boys did not go for bad girls. Grandma’s words were absolute. Yet Sam still offered her the invitation. Didn’t that prove she could be wrong, at least sometimes? “I want to.”

“Then make that choice. Work on healing. Nathan can’t get you here. He can’t track you anymore. The fear is gone.”

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