Page 28 of Operation: Unify

“I don’t know. I’m nervous. There’s so much going on in my head and I feel like I’ve failed.”

He pulled back slightly and cupped both of her cheeks in his hands. “Never. You haven’t failed anything. You thought you were safe to let her be out of your sight for a minute to take a shower.”

She closed her eyes. “That’s not what I meant, but thank you.” She took his hands from her cheeks and held them loosely at her side. “I’m glad that after I left, you were still willing to come.”

“I told you I would.” He thought he’d been clear about that. What he wasn’t sure about were all these strange signals from Lacy. He’d always been good at reading her. She was easy to understand. Now, she wasn’t. She’d needed time away fromhim. Then she’d called him to come and help her not 48 hours later. She hadn’t balked when he’d called her his wife, yet she was clearly worried about sleeping near him. What should he believe?

“Still. I think it’s important to thank you.” She took a step back and let his hands fall. “I’m going to use the bathroom and get ready, then you can. Okay?” Her glance dodged to the other door in the room that he assumed was the en suite.

“Sounds fine. I’ll probably sleep in my jeans just in case I have to get up quickly.” And so there was more than a few layers between them.

She nodded and pressed her lips together. He suddenly wished he could press his to them and make her forget about the danger to her life and to her friend’s life for just a minute. Okay, maybe more than a minute.

She unzipped her bag, and he noted that everything inside was haphazardly thrown in. That was unlike her, but they’d had to leave the hotel quickly that morning. The moment she closed the door, he headed for the living room to grab his duffle. While in the military, he’d learned how to pack light and live on only what he needed. This trip was no different.

When Lacy came out of the bathroom, she wore her typical flannel pjs with her long hair up in a messy bun. He’d seen her ready for bed for years, since they usually sat together with the TV on at night, though he was usually the only one to watch. She often had her nose in a book.

Lacy fluffed the pillow on the side of the bed furthest from the door, but she still looked nervous. He glanced around the room to assess what he could do to make her more comfortable. A large TV hung on the wall opposite the bed. He grabbed the remote off the nightstand and turned it on quietly. “There, now it’s just like home.” He smiled, hoping she would relax.

“Right. Just like home.” She pulled back the bedding and climbed in, then yawned again. “Are you going to stay up for a while?”

“Not sure.” That completely depended on her. He wasn’t likely to fall asleep at all if she was restless next to him.

He hurried through brushing his teeth and changing into a clean tee, then headed for bed. Lacy was curled on her side, her head tucked almost under the covers. She looked so serene there and absolutely beautiful to him. He sat on the bed and heard her sigh deeply.

Shutting off the lamp, he let the glow of the television give him the light he needed to get the blankets settled. As soon as he was comfortable enough, he shut the television off. Lacy’s breathing was even and deep. She was sleeping. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

In that instant, her eyes flew open, he could see them even in the dark, framed by her pale skin. “I know I shouldn’t ask this, but would you hold me? When I close my eyes, I still see the dripping letters of the writing on the mirror.” She shivered.

He motioned for her to roll over, just like they used to. She did so, then slid back to the center of the bed. He slipped his hand along her waist and splayed his fingers over her belly. She was warm and soft. She smelled exactly as he remembered, and he finally relaxed. This was what he was made for. He wanted to protect and hold his wife, if only she would let him.

Warmth spreaddown Lacy’s back where Connor laid flush next to her. Where his hand wrapped around her, flutters filled her belly. Those hadn’t happened in a long time. Maybe in some ways, she was blessed. How many women got to feel that wayabout the man they married more than just at first? While she’d never wish separation on anyone, the giddiness of falling again was something she was sure she’d never feel a second time.

While she’d waited for Connor to arrive, the hours had felt like days. The only positive had been that Randy was there. If he hadn’t been, she’d have had nothing to do but pace and worry. She may have even tried to go after Melinda on her own, because there was no telling if she was even still alive.

Connor hadn’t understood what she’d meant when she’d said she’d failed, but she she’d really meant it in two ways. She hadn’t kept Melinda safe, and she’d failed to stay away from Connor long enough for him to know she would return. While he was acting like he cared, that was exactly the problem. They hadn’t dealt with the fact that he still wouldn’t trust her with his heart. If she couldn’t have the good, bad, and the ugly of Connor, she wasn’t willing to think about a second chance. They had to do it right this time or not at all.

Connor shifted in his sleep and his hand moved to her hip, possessively heavy. When they’d first married, they’d slept right next to each other. That had partly been due to the fact that they’d only been able to afford a full-sized bed. With Connor taking most of the real-estate, they’d had to sleep close, or she’d have had to find somewhere else.

This bed was more than spacious enough for both of them, but she’d wanted him near her. He’d probably taken her hesitation as actual nerves, but it had been because this was what her heart wanted. She wanted Connor as her husband again. Not her boss. Not her coworker. Not even just as her friend.

She wanted him as her husband.

A noise from outside their room made Connor immediately tense. He’d always been a light sleeper, but she’d forgotten how light. “I’ll go check that out, stay here,” he whispered rightbehind her ear, sending warm breath over her cheek and making her shiver slightly.

He squeezed her hip as he got up and tucked her back in to keep her warm. It didn’t matter, the blankets weren’t nearly as warm as her bear of an ex-husband. Lacy kept as still as possible and listened for any noise from the other room. Connor had closed the door, probably for her safety and privacy but she wished she could hear.

Muffled voices carried down the short hall to her, but she couldn’t make out what was said. Outside, darkness still cloaked the window. Exhaustion weighed her down. Now that Connor wasn’t there to keep her heart pattering a little too fast to sleep, she let her thoughts wander. A moment later, the door opened again.

“What happened?”

“Randy was playing an online game with a few friends. He’s still watching the door, but he was talking. He certainly is sure that nothing will happen. I’m not so certain. Will it bother you if I stay up and keep my own eyes on the door?”

She hated that he was going to end up being awake all night, but if Connor suggested it, he wouldn’t be able to sleep feeling like he should be doing something. “If you feel you need to, then you should.”

He lifted one side of his mouth, not quite hidden in his short beard and mustache. She’d always liked it when he kept his facial hair trimmed so it didn’t aggravate her skin. But she couldn’t imagine him ever shaving his face completely clean. “Good. Get some sleep. I’ll wake you in the morning.” He came around and made sure her blankets were pulled up enough to keep her warm.

Connor’s presence was so welcome, she wanted to follow him out to the living room, but he wouldn’t be able to watch like hewould want to with her there talking to him. She still needed to sleep after getting up early to call him.

---