Terrell gave him a questioning look but offered no retort. He followed directions, even adjusting the saddle closer to the horse’s neck when it didn’t sit quite right. “What now?”
Eric explained how to buckle the saddle in place, finishing with the latigo knot. When Terrell completed the task Eric checked it for safety, then went to get Skyfall. Any guest’s first ride was always a time for him to worry. Would Terrell be all right once he was on the horse? Would Ted take to him like he had to every other rider? How would he get to the heart of what Terrell needed through the experience?
He showed the boy how to place his foot, leverage his weight, and swing easily onto the horse. Once Terrell was up there, apprehension filled his eyes. “I’m not sure about this. I’ve never seen no one like me on a horse.”
“There are lots of people like you who ride.” Eric laughed, trying to dispel the boy’s worry. “I read about a man once. I think he was in Chicago. He would ride his horse through dangerous neighborhoods, introducing boys who had only known hood life to his horse and showing them it was okay to be different. What started out as something to help his own mental health has made a big difference for a lot of boys just like you.”
Terrell snorted. “I don’t think it’s okay to be that different.” He looked at the horse skeptically.
“No one is here to see you but me, and I’m not telling anyone.”
Eric’s conscience picked at him. Would he be this appeasing with Ali? Would he keep trying to draw her out and heal if she was nervous, like he was doing with Terrell? He almost laughed. Ali didn’t get nervous about anything. The fact remained, she had to have been through something terrible where her husband was concerned or she wouldn’t be divorced.
Terrell adjusted his high-top tennis shoe into the stirrup and followed Eric’s instructions for how to get on Ted, then settled into the saddle. Eric told him to relax into the motion of the horse’s stride because if he didn’t work with the horse, he’d work against him and Terrell would hurt the next day.
After a few minutes, Terrell started to ride at a walking pace. Eric led him out on the trail, and they went down the first one since it was the easiest. Terrell loosened up a little after a few minutes and almost looked comfortable in the saddle. He even looked up from the horse’s neck a few times to enjoy the scenery.
Eric showed him some native plants and the river that meandered through the property. He took him at a relaxing pace along the path, allowing Terrell to forget for a little while about why he was there at the ranch if he chose to.
But Eric also wanted to make sure Terrell understood the gravity of his situation. Terrell might be worried about gang members showing up, but going back to the juvenile detention center could be just as dangerous. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but this is your last chance. Connor is hesitant to call in the police for anything you guys do, but once he does, we’ve been instructed to send you back.”
Terrell’s excitement visibly dulled. “I’m not surprised. Anytime things get tough, people give up.” He flicked the reins a little. “I just wish there was another way, but there isn’t for me. This is my way. Whether I like it or not. Sometimes your life is chosen for you.”
Eric reached out and laid his hand on the pommel of Terrell’s saddle. “When you think life gets chosen for you, that’s the time you step back and evaluate if you’re giving up or if you’re ready to fight for what you want. If that’s not the life you thought you’d have, then it’s time to try to make a change.”
Terrell gave his head a single shake with an exasperated sigh. “You don’t understand. The boys, they don’t have choices. We live where we live. We go to school where we were born. There’s only one way out, and it isn’t following the rules.”
Eric took a deep breath and prayed he was saying the right words. “Out here, the rules are different than they are back home. Here, the rules don’t depend on Big E or Jayzon. They are in almost every room in this place, and I can promise you, they won’t lead you back to juvie.”
Terrell tugged up on the reins, stopping his horse, and Eric halted alongside him. “Are you saying that if something happens, you won’t blame me right along with them? Because I can already feel thisus vs. themthing going on. You and Connor lump all of us three as one, and that isn’t the way it is. I’ll listen to you, but you’ve got to trust me too.”
Eric swallowed his reservations and the realization that Terrell was asking for the exact same thing as Ali. Maybe he needed to give Ali a little grace along with Terrell.
Because if he could do it for the kid he’d labeled a delinquent just a week before and who could physically hurt him, he could do it for someone who could only hurt his heart.
“You got it. I’m here for you.”
* * *
Why wasEric so invested in looking back at the past? Ali brushed aside her curtain over the tiny sink in her micro kitchen. Everything was too small, too cramped. She needed space to think. A space like her apartment back home. That wasn’t happening though. The drive out to the ranch had been enough small space until she had to be back in there. Her car was even smaller than the cabin.
She headed outside into the sun. At least the outdoors was wide open and she could breathe. Even sleeping in the cabin felt like being trapped. Lacy was down by the corral, watching Sam working with the dogs. The same German shepherd who’d greeted Ali by the lodge was out working with him. A small dog zipped around Sam’s feet, oblivious to whistles or calls.
Ali made her way closer and stopped at Lacy’s side. “That dog doesn’t look like he’s going to amount to much of a herder or security helper.” Ali rested her arms on the fence next to Lacy to watch.
“That’s Bubbles. He came just before Zeus, the other dog. The difference is that Sam realized Zeus had either a very natural knack for training, or he’d been trained before. Bubbles, on the other hand, was just straight-up neglected. Cole found him in a parking lot and rescued him.”
Ali watched the interaction between Sam and the dogs. Zeus seemed to almost sigh at Bubbles’ antics. “Bubbles seems happy to have a place to run,” she said. She could relate. Neglect and abuse were an infection that wasn’t easy to get over.
“He is. He hates the kennel, and I think—against Connor’s wishes—Sam takes him home at night to his cabin. That dog is becoming a pet. But that’s okay because there’s a little boy that will come here daily after Cole and his wife get home, and that little boy loves that dog like he’s a blood brother.” Lacy laughed.
Tears burned the sides of Ali’s eyes, and she blinked them away. Crying over a dog and a boy? That was silly. Her own childhood was years ago, bare of dogs or attention. Giving attention and love wouldn’t provide for her, wouldn’t keep her feeling secure. And a dog would’ve been another thing to protect from her uncle. Those past things, things she couldn’t control now, didn’t matter. They were like a feather in the wind.
“You rescue everything around here?” Ali knew she sounded skeptical, but what kind of place was this?
Lacy laughed. “Yes. Completely. From the owner to the smallest dog, everything and everyone has been rescued from something.” Her smile faltered slightly. “Some more than others.”
Ali didn’t want to get too personal with Lacy yet. She usually avoided personal relationships completely. The more people knew her, the more they could judge her life, and she didn’t need that negativity. “Helping like a latte? I would think having a place nearby that sold a decent latte would help just about everyone.” Ali tried to laugh but the emotion felt flat.