Page 73 of I Just Want to be Yours

“Yeah.” I pointedly confirm what I know she’s thinking. “You told me I had to make it a big deal, so I tried. I had it all planned, and then the night fell apart.”

A low chuckle leaves Dave’s throat. “You don’t have to make it a big deal. I told Lynn I loved her for the first time when she took me to get stitches in my hand after dating for two months. It was probably the least romantic way I could have done it. I think I still had blood on my shirt.”

“Yeah, and I told a girl I loved her just last night. Well, one of them, anyway—the younger one,” Marty chimes in.

Mya rolls her eyes. “Gross.”

Ignoring what Marty said, I keep my eyes locked on Dave. “Seriously?”

He laughs again. “Yeah. Who the hell told you it had to be special?”

My eyes jump to Mya, and her cheeks flush with what I’m assuming is guilt. “I still think you should try to make a big deal of it, but if I knew your alternative was not saying it at all, I would have told you that was stupid.”

“Thanks,” I mutter.

Dave looks back and forth between Mya and me with a bemused smile pulling at his lips. “Listen, if you want to make a big thing of it, fine. But you don’t have to. If you want to say it, just blurt it out next time you see her. I’m sure she’d be happy to hear it.”

I try to imagine doing just that, and my knee bounces at the thought.

Unfortunately, Marty is the one who notices and laughs. “Lord help us if he ever decides to propose.”

I scoff and get to my feet. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Marty.” When I pass Mya on the way to my bunk I ask, “Want to smoke?” I need something to get rid of the regret I’m feeling. I should have just told Margot. In my gut, I think I knew that, but the whole thing has turned into a massive block for me. Next time I see her, maybe I should just do what Dave suggested and blurt it out. Maybe holding this in is what’s making it feel like I have a bomb strapped to my chest.

Mya looks surprised by my offer, but quickly agrees. “Yeah. Of course.”

Dave runs a hand through his hair. “I’d join you, but it’s my turn to drive. Brian and Brady have been up there long enough.”

Marty opens his mouth to say something, but Dave cuts him off.

“You’re coming with me. Jackson already looks like he wants to kick your ass.”

I let out a huff but keep my mouth shut because Dave is right. Marty always gets under my skin, but Marty talking about Margot has me feeling more on edge than I have in weeks. I can’t remember the last time I’ve gotten into a fight. Elementary school maybe? But the thought of causing Marty pain and wiping that smug look off his face is starting to get more appealing.

Marty looks me up and down. “Nah, we’re fine. Aren’t we Jackson?”

Rocking back on my heels, I stuff my hands in the pocket of my hoodie so he can’t see how tightly my fists are clenched. “We’re fine,” I say with a sharp nod.

Dave’s wary eyes jump between the two of us. “Either way, you’re coming with me.”

Thankfully, Marty doesn’t fight him this time. As soon as he and Dave are at the front of the RV, I take a hard seat on the edge of my bed.

Mya quickly sits down next to me. “I’m sorry I ruined your night.” She reaches beneath the bunk for the box where we keep our weed and expertly rolls a joint as she continues. “I feel so bad. The whole cashbox thing. I’m so sorry, Jackson.”

Taking the joint from her, I shake my head as I put it in my mouth and light the end. “Don’t be. You didn’t ruin anything.” She’s still looking at me with wide, worried eyes, and my exhale comes out as a choked laugh. Offering her the joint, I shake my head. “Don’t look at me like that. We had a great time.” She doesn’t look completely convinced, so I add, “Plus, you were right. I was scared.”

Her face relaxes. “Really?”

“Fucking terrified.”

She narrows her eyes at me playfully as she lifts the joint toher lips. “I knew it.” Once she’s taken a hit, she hands it back to me.

“Not anymore, though.”

“No?”

I shake my head. After hearing Dave’s story, I think he’s right. Margot wouldn’t give a shit how I tell her. Maybe Mya needs a grand gesture from someone, but I don’t think Margot does. Hell, I don’t even think she’d like that, and all it took was Dave to talk some sense into me. My voice comes out muffled as I get ready to take another hit. “Nah. Fuck it.”

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