Page 27 of I Just Want to be Yours

“I have to go,” I say as I stand up from the table. Pacing into the kitchen, I rinse my bowl before putting it in the dishwasher. “Thanks for dinner.” I look at Rae. “Are you staying here tonight?”

She’s watching me curiously. “I was planning on it. Do you want me to come home?”

I shake my head. “No, you’re good. Have fun, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

Before any of them can respond, I’m out the door and dialing Jackson’s number.

15

jackson

Margot’s namepops up on the screen, and I answer. “This is a big step. I don’t think you’ve ever called me.”

The sound of her unlocking a door meshes with her breath of laughter. “Shut up.”

“You called as soon as you found out I was alone. Are you planning on having your way with me?”

She laughs again, and it’s the best fucking sound. Being on tour is a constant distraction. I still miss her, but there’s always something to keep those thoughts at bay. I’ll think about how much I wish I were still waking up next to her, but then I’ll have to do a sound check. I’ll wonder what she’s doing, but then Dave will walk up and share some lyrics he’s been working on. It’s a blessing, really, having something to ground me when I start dreaming about being somewhere else. But hearing her voice? Hearing her laugh? I didn’t realize how much I missed her until now.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“I would,” I say, my mind already reeling. It sounds like she sets her keys down, and I can perfectly picture her walking through her apartment. I wish I were there. I wish Icould touch her. Thanks to the bourbon, I blurt, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” she says with a smile in her voice, and it sounds like she’s finally sat down somewhere. “Want to tell me why you’re drunk and alone?”

Getting comfortable on my bunk, I say, “We were celebrating with our new manager, and I’m not old enough to keep the party going.”

“Should I be judging this new manager for convincing the guys to leave you behind?”

My lips press together with amusement. She’s the only one who’s willing to get mad about shit on my behalf. “No. He’s cool. I think my age just caught him off guard.”

“Fine.” After a moment, she adds, “Jackson, you have amanager.”

The excitement in her voice brings a smile to my lips, but it’s quickly followed by a pang in my chest. I take another sip from the bottle. “I wish you were here. I wish I could bury my face in your neck and smell your hair.”

Laughter bubbles out of her. “Smell my hair?”

“Your hair always smells like your strawberry shampoo. I miss it.” I hesitate, but the words, “I miss you,” tumble from my mouth again before I can stop them.

There’s still a smile in her voice when she says, “How much have you had to drink?”

Don’t I tell her I miss her when I’m sober? Rubbing my palm against my forehead, I try to remember, but nothing comes to mind. “Enough to make me say stupid shit, but not enough for me to fall over.”

“You haven’t said anything stupid,” she says softly, and I wish I could kiss her.

“I just want to touch you,” I rub my hand over my face. “Or see you . . . Fuck,” I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

“What would you do if I were there?” she asks.

I pause with the bottle to my lips. “What?”

“What would you do,” she says again, more slowly this time, “if I were there?”

My hand grips the bottle tighter. “Don’t ask me that while I’m drunk.”

She giggles, and the sound shoots straight to my groin. “That’s exactly why I’m asking.”

“Are you trying to get me hard, Margot?”

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