The corner of Jackson’s mouth quirks as he brings a thumb to my cheek. “You’ll still go out and have fun.”

“I know,” I say too quickly—even though it feels like a lie. I don’t want to go out without him. He’s the reason going outisfun. He’s the reason I want to let loose. Without him, it won’t be the same.

There’s a trace of worry behind his eyes, and I can’t take it. I can’t take him pitying me. Leaving is hard for him, but nothing is worse than being left.

“We’re both going to have lives while we’re not together,” I say with a little more conviction. “I’ll try not to get into too much trouble.”

He chuffs a laugh. “And if you do, call Matt.” He pulls me to him. “Hell, even if I were here, you’d have to call Matt because I’d be getting into trouble with you.”

My lips twist playfully. “Youarea terrible influence.”

He gives me a peck on the lips. “You love it.”

I can’t fight my grin. “Yeah,” I say with a laugh. “I do.”

He smiles, but it fades too soon. Something in his expression turns serious as he brushes his thumb over my cheek.There’s something he’s not saying. I can feel the unsaid words hanging between us, and my mind betrays me, jumping back to the conversation I had with Rae. He wouldn’t say he loves menow,would he? Because I don’t want him to tell me he loves me just because he feels like heshould—like he might as well get it over with now before he doesn’t see me for who knows how long.

If he ever says those three words to me, I want it to be because he wants to—becausenotsaying it makes him feel like he’s going to explode. I want him to say it with absolute confidence, and I don’t want our weird timeline to add pressure to it.

I study his face and wonder if I love him. For so long, I fought my feelings for Jackson. I was afraid of how vulnerable he made me, and admitting I love him only intensifies that.

But I think I do.

I think I love him.

We’re both just looking at each other, his thumb absently tracing the line of my jaw as he rests his hand on the back of my neck.

His lips part, and I don’t know if he’s about to confess something or if he’s just taking a breath, but I kiss him before he has the chance to do either.

I kiss him before he potentially tells me he loves me for the wrong reasons.

And I kiss him deep enough to make him forget he was about to say anything at all.

His hands move to my hair, and he takes control of the kiss. Every time he moves his lips over mine, I can feel my mind settling as the chaos turns to calm.

Breaking the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine. “Visit me.”

“I’ll try.”

He shakes his head. “Margot, visit me.”

I melt into him, my mind a blank slate. “Yeah. Okay.”

A light smile touches the corners of his mouth. He knows I can’t say no to him. Of course, I’ll visit him. There’s no way I’d make it to December. If I could afford it, I’d be going to every show. But I’ll settle for a single weekend.

I have to.

9

jackson

Putting my car in park,I take in the scene in front of me. Dave and the guys are busy packing up the same van we toured in a few months ago, and just the thought of being on the road again has my adrenaline pumping.

I’m tempted to text Margot and tell her I miss her already, but I think that might be overkill.

I almost told her I loved her.

What the hell was I thinking? I’ve never said those words to anyone. I’ve never wanted to say them to anyone. And yet, those three words almost tumbled out of my dumb mouth.