Page 9 of I Just Want to be Yours

I blink, not sure how to respond to that.

Rae tilts her head. “You two have said it, right?”

“Um.” I drop my gaze, pushing my fajita peppers around with my fork and trying not to choke on the way her question just made me feel. “No.” I shake my head. “We haven’t.”

“Margot!” she says with a laugh. “How long have you two been together?”

A soft smile pulls at my lips. “Depends on which days you want to count.”

She gives me an incredulous look. “You don’t even know when your anniversary is?”

“Not really.” I shrug, talking about this with her is hard. She and Matt are perfect. He knew he loved her so quickly and told her as soon as he felt it. But Jackson and I aren’t Matt and Rae. We never have been. I know I can’t compare us to them, but when I talk to her about things, it makes it hard not to.

Rae shakes her head. “Okay, let’s think. You two got together the week after Thanksgiving, right?”

“Unofficially,” I say with a nod. “But the show was in January, and then he didn’t stop touring until May.”

She does the math. “So, if you count since he’s been home, it’s been three months, but if you count since you two decided to be exclusive, it’s been almostseven?”

“Yeah.”

I know this. I’ve been running the numbers. Mostly out of curiosity. My ex, Chris, told me he loved me after a month, and I said it back even though I wasn’t sure I felt the same. I’m not even sure he felt it to be honest. With Jackson, Ifeelloved, butfor some reason, he hasn’t said it. I think it’s okay. I think feeling it is more important than saying it.

She sets down her fry and brushes the crumbs off her hands, giving me her full attention. “And if he doesn’t say it before he leaves, he probably won’t say it while he’s gone . . .”

I swallow, sifting through my rice with my fork even though I have no intention of taking another bite. “Probably.”

“Which means he might not say it until he comes back for the holidays?”

Letting out a breath, I set my fork onto my plate. “Or if I go visit him on tour, but it’s fine. There’s no rush.”

Rae frowns as our server comes to the table. “One mini molten for you two?”

Rae’s eyes jump from me to the tall blonde taking our order. “Make it the big one.”

I’m about to disagree with her, but she gives me a look that lets me know she can see right through me, and she’s right. This conversation calls for the bigger cake. “Okay. One regular molten,” I agree with a nod.

“You’ve got it.” Our server disappears into the back, and I brace myself for the way Rae is inevitably still looking at me.

“Rae, I prom?—”

“Do you love him?”

I blink. “What?”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not a hard question.” With a shrug, she asks again, “Do you love him?”

“Um . . .” I don’t know how to answer her. It’s not that I doubt my feelings for Jackson, but I’m also okay with the fact that we haven’t said those three words yet. Our relationship doesn’t feel like it’s lacking anything. Most days I don’t even think about how we haven’t exchanged the phrase. I only think about it when the occasional prickling thought settles into the back of my mind—or when I’m talking to Rae, apparently. “I don’t know.”

She gives me a heavy-lidded stare. “You’ve been with him for over six months. You know.” She throws her hands in the air. “Hell,Iknow you love him just by being around you two.”

Our server sets the fudgy, chocolate cake with ice cream, Magic Shell, and a caramel drizzle in front of us. “Let’s drop it,” I say, even though I know there’s no use.

Without looking at her, I take my spoon and dig in.

She doesn’t do the same.

She’s still just waiting for me to give her a better explanation.

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