Page 34 of I Just Want to be Yours

The guys are playingcards inside the RV when I step outside to get some air. We’re parked at a campsite with a couple of chairs positioned near a small fire pit that isn’t lit. It would be way too fucking hot to sit by a fire right now. Taking a seat on the white plastic, I stare up at the sky. At school, I felt caged. I felt like everything was an inconvenience, getting in the way of what I wanted to do. But out here, in the middle of nowhere, I’m free. It’s a type of calm I never had at USF.

The only thing missing is her.

I reach for my phone and contemplate calling Margot when I see she texted me a couple of hours ago.

Margot:

Just thinking about you.

The words tug at something deep, and a cross between a smile and a frown pulls at my lips. She’s sent me those same four words a few times now, and they’re becoming my favorite message. She usually sends them when one of us has had an extra busy day and we haven’t had time to talk.

It’s just past midnight, and I want to hear her voice morethan anything. I want to know how her day was and what she did. She has classes tomorrow, though. And with the way she packed her schedule, they start early.

My thumb hovers over her name, but I know I shouldn’t call. I know she’s already asleep, and the last thing I want is for her to be tired tomorrow because I kept her up. I’ve learned that one the hard way. It took me way too long to get back in her good graces after playing guitar before her first day of classes, and the last thing I want is for us to move backward.

“Hey.”

I look up to find Mya ducking her head out of the back door. “Hey.”

“Mind if I join you?”

I shake my head and gesture to the chair next to me. Disappointment washes over me. It has nothing to do with Mya. She’s . . . nice. But even though I knew I wouldn’t have called Margot, Mya’s presence is another fleeting window of opportunity snatched away.

She must catch onto what I’m feeling because she cocks an eyebrow as she slowly takes a seat. “Did I interrupt something?”

I shake my head and turn my phone over in my lap. I’ll text Margot in the morning.

“If you say so.” She offers a shrug and plops into the plastic chair next to me before crossing her legs underneath her. That’s when I notice the burning joint in her hand. She follows my gaze and then meets my stare again. “Want some?” she asks with an outstretched hand.

I’ve smoked more these past few days than I have in my entire life, but it helps to make the long hours on the road less boring. “Sure.” I take it from her, and she grins in response. Bringing the joint to my lips, I take a hit before handing it back to her. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me.” She lets out a huff as she reaches acrossthe space between us and retrieves the joint. “I stole it from Brian.”

My laugh comes out as a cough. “That’s what you call your uncle? Brian?”

She arches an eyebrow as she deeply inhales. “Technically, he and I are coworkers now,” she says, her voice squeaky from holding the smoke in her lungs.

“Right.” Without thinking, I turn over my phone to check for anything from Margot. I don’t know why I do it. She’s the last one who texted me, and I still haven’t answered. It’s just a compulsive tick at this point.

The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed. Mya gives me a sideways glance. “Expecting to hear from someone?”

I shake my head. “Doubt it. I think she’s asleep.”

She nods slowly. “On tour with a girlfriend back home?” A hint of a smile pulls at her lips. “You’re brave.”

“Yeah.” I reach for the joint again. “Brave or stupid.”

She laughs and it’s a light, airy sound. “For your sake, let’s hope it’s brave.”

“What about you?” I nod in her direction. “Got a boyfriend?” A slow, knowing smile pulls at her lips, so I add, “Or girlfriend?”

She reaches for another smoke, and I pass it back to her. “Have had both. Currently have neither.”

I lean back to look up at the stars. “Smart.”

She takes another hit and follows my gaze. “Or a coward.”

My head rolls to the side, and I know I’m starting to feel my high because I laugh. “You don’t strike me as a coward.”

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