Page 95 of Endgame

‘Because I’m sick of hiding.’

‘Lydia’s phone has been going off since midnight. Honey’s fans are going crazy online and people are accusing me of cheating on Dominic.’

I’m not going to lie, the second bit of the news tickles me. People think I’ve nicked Dominic’s girlfriend, whereas in actuality he’s trying to steal mine. Social media is such a scam.

Honey swats me aside, like she has been playing with me this entire time by letting me think that I was getting the upper hand.

‘I can fix part of that,’ she says. She walks off the mat to her phone and taps quickly, then reads her comment aloud.

‘Sometimes, friends become best friends and love finds its true path. I couldn’t be happier for this beautiful couple. Wishing my best friend Caleb nothing but happiness with his soulmate Ariella. Please be kind.’

She looks at Ariella.

‘You love each other. Stop hiding it. The stakes might be a little higher for me, but I’m thinking of doing the same.’

Honey walks past Ariella, grabs Lara’s face and kisses her in front of us. Honey is a legend. Not only did she fulfil one of Ariella and my deepest wishes – for those two to get together – she managed to get Ariella to temporarily forget that she was angry at me.

When I meet Ariella at work later for the final part of Melissa’s storytime, the first person who comes up to me as soon as I step out of the lift is Lydia. She’d been waiting for me to arrive before she entered the meeting room. I don’t want to give the news away and I won’t, but I know I’m going to struggle. MsPat warned us earlier that morning to make our medical appointments as discreetly as possible and not to tell anyone until after the three-month mark.

‘I’m glad you told everyone, Caleb. Samir has lost his mind and Ariella’s profile is an impossible firefighting nightmare, but well done. I’m happy for you both.’ If she’s this excited about the post, our other news is going to blow her mind.

When we walk into the meeting room, everyone apart from Samir and Aari bursts into a round of laughter-filled applause.

‘You’re still alive,’ Bree announces, setting everyone off again.

‘Only just.’ I shake my head and take the seat next to Bryce.

‘Well done, mate,’ he whispers, then asks if I want sweet or salty popcorn from the machine in the corner of the room. I opt for ice cream, and grab it from one of the mini ice coolers sitting in the middle of the boardroom table.

Soon enough the countdown hits zero and Melissa appears in her bathrobe, waving today’s paper at us for what we hope is the final time.

‘I was hoping my last storytime was going to go out with a bang, but I don’t feel like it today.’

She lifts her cocktail to her lips, downs it and uses her hand to call another one forth before she continues. Gustaf’s hand is quick with a replacement.

‘So, I don’t want to be mean but…oh, who am I kidding? I’m always mean. Let’s just get into it and start with the sex. Who was having it with whom and Kevin almost losing his tiny wee-wee when he tried to come on to me for the first and last time.’

She details all the people Kevin has had affairs with. It includes some pretty high-profile names and people who had no business having affairs with anyone. She detailed the lies that were told to make meetings happen, conferences that were made up and secret congregations on Indonesian islands that perhaps had a different kind of agenda.

‘Video tapes was going to be my grand finale, but I’ve changed my mind. Kevin may be a disease-ridden, weak-spined, disgusting waste of space, but I had an affair too. It started off as a bit of fun, but I fell in love. I now realise that’s what it was. At the time, I responded the only way I knew and did some pretty atrocious things. I now have to live with that and settle for Gustaf.’

Melissa looks off camera, shrugs and smiles. I get the feeling Gustaf knows what this is and he’s not complaining. Poor Gustaf. Vultures will always find roadkill.

‘So this is my final gift to him. Anyone so much as leaks, touches or tries to find and interfere with him, I’m releasing the tapes. All of them. And if yesterday is anything to go by, you know I can do it in multiple locations all at once. Gotta hand it to blockchain. So you’re all now in charge of his safety. Any one of you so much as touches a hair on his head, everyone is getting it. He wandered blindly and stupidly into a carefully laid trap. He had no idea what he was getting himself into and I was completely unprepared for the effect he was going to have on me. I truly hope that he holds on to his perfection.’

Lydia, Ariella and Samir glance at me.

‘Shit, mate,’ Bryce whispers.

I daren’t look at Ariella.

‘I’ll resurface eventually, when all of this has died down and the appropriate arrests have been made, investigations completed and the law has done the best it can. In the meantime, I’ll be making bigger, meaner and scarier friends. I’ve always been resourceful like that. Here’s a toast to not seeing or hearing from each other for a very long time – unless, of course, I absolutely have to.’

She raises her glass in the air and the stream cuts out. My phone vibrates. It’s an unrecognised number.

I may have been a monster but I was your monster. I’m sorry. Be happy. Goodbye.

‘Wow,’ Sian says. ‘And life goes back to normal.’

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