Page 92 of Endgame

I sit up and take a sip of her tea. She motions for me to have more with a couple of flicks of her wrist, and I do. Only then does she take the tea from me, place it on the coffee table, reach for my hand and clasp it in hers.

‘Good. Miss Ariella,’ she starts, looking at me with love and warmth in her eyes. ‘You not sick. You have a baby.’

‘Well, I guess Caleb’s pull-out game sucks,’ Lara says from where she is sitting on the side of the bath, flicking the pregnancy test around like a mercury thermometer.

‘Lara, you have to leave it alone on the side or I’m going to have to do another one.’

I’m sitting on the loo with my knickers round my ankles, still reeling from the shock.

‘Do another one now just in case. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait for another three minutes.’

‘We’ll have to wait for another three hours. That’s how long the urine needs to be in my system for an accurate test.’

Lara drops it immediately.

‘So, I’m thinking Elsie if it’s a girl. To be fair, I’m also thinking Elsie if it’s a boy. What do you think?’

It’s times like this that I love Lara and I’ll be forever grateful that she’s my best friend. If she wasn’t here distracting me by making ridiculous suggestions, I’d be unable to cope with the anxiety that is currently threatening to take over.

When MsPat told me her theory, I went completely numb with the shock. It was her who called Lara from my phone and asked her to discreetly bring two pregnancy tests so we could know for sure before I told Caleb. Lara arrived with Honey, just after Caleb returned with MsPat’s fresh ginger and mint.

Lara picks up the test and her eyes widen.

‘What?’

‘Yup. MsPat was on the money. You’re knocked up.’

The chaos and confusion in my mind explodes and the tears start to fall. How can I have a baby now? I’m thousands of miles away from home, tied to a two-year contract, in love with someone who I have a short, intense but tumultuous history with, and I’m not ready. I’m only just discovering who I am, how can I possibly look after another human being?

‘Lara, I don’t know if I can have this baby,’ I admit, bursting into tears.

‘Oh babe, you don’t have to know right now.’ Lara comes over and kneels by the loo to hold me, underwear round my ankles and all. We stay like that until I feel I need to stand under the shower for a while.

Lara carefully wraps the test for disposal and promises to confirm MsPat’s suspicions quietly to her. By the time I return to the couch downstairs she, Honey and MsPat are gone.

‘Lara told me you wanted me to give you some time to become less disgusting from all the puke, or I’d have come up to check on you. She said it was like theExorcistpea soup scene up there. She did the sound effects and everything.’ Caleb smiles sympathetically. ‘Come here.’

He arranges himself at one end of the couch and stretches out his arms so that I can cuddle him as I lie down. I go straight into him and curl up, pulling our couch blanket over us.

‘Seeing you sick is awful, Aari.’ He pulls me closer. I can’t not tell him.

‘I’m not sick, Caleb.’ I exhale softly to rid myself of the nerves as I sit up to face him. ‘I’m pregnant.’

I have never seen Caleb so shocked or silent. I curl back into him and wait. After a while he holds me tighter.

‘What do you want to do, Aari?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Whatever you want, I’ll support you. All the way.’ He kisses my head.

‘What do you think?’ I ask him.

‘I think I’m in denial because I really want to take the piss. It hasn’t sunk in yet – but it explains why MsPat had a go at me earlier.’

‘She had a go at you?’

‘Yeah. She gave me a dirty look, said I play too much and that I was a grown man now. All I did was juggle the ginger before I gave it to her. She looked sad and I was trying to cheer her up.’

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