Page 59 of Endgame

I move her hands away slowly and help her out of her vest to bare her beautiful body.

‘Goodness, I’ve missed your body.’ I rest back on my knees, taking in her beautiful, smooth café-latte skin against the white cotton sheets. I trace my fingers along the base of her neck, down the middle of her chest and slowly around each nipple, thanking them for coming alive for me.

‘I’ve missed these too.’ I smile to myself.

‘They’ve missed you,’ she confirms softly. I explore her body with my mouth as she goes on her own little tour, leaving little sparks when she touches my skin. The sound of Aari’s laboured breathing is threatening to undo me, so I take a break to silence her with a kiss and feel between her thighs. Her underwear is soaked, so I place my fingers where I know it matters and slowly edge her towards her tipping point.

‘Caleb, I need you inside me.’ She strokes my arm.

‘We have a supply issue. We have one condom and no backup. The way this is going, we’re going to blow through it if we’re not careful.’ I look up apologetically.

‘Please, Caleb,’ she pleads with her eyes closed, and wriggles uncomfortably.

That’s all it takes. I rip open the packet, pull off her drenched underwear, place her ankles on my shoulders and enter her. She welcomes me in. The feeling is still unbelievable. I start slow because this is a new position for us and I’m going deep. Her gasp is a warning, so I ease off.

‘Are you okay?’ The last thing I want is to hurt her.

‘Yes.’

We develop a rhythm with our gazes locked on each other and everything between us seems bigger than the act itself. I’m particularly relieved that we have made it past last time, when our fears and anxieties got the better of us.

Ariella, without warning, slides her legs from my shoulders and plants both feet, trapping my hips between her knees.

She reaches for me and, as I bend forward, she places her hands on my shoulders, pulls herself upright and manoeuvres us into a loving kiss. She then uses her body to move me back onto my knees, forcing me to sit on my heels. Chest to chest, face to face, still linked, she wraps her legs round my hips, with her arms anchored round my neck and shoulders like she is holding on for dear life. As she settles on top, our foreheads meet and stay together.

‘Fuck, Aari,’ I exhale, millimetres from her mouth, as she begins to move.

‘I need you close, Caleb.’

Ariella keeps us moving as I steady her hips with my hands, controlling our pace. Then something transcendent happens. Being with her here, now, stops being about getting us to a climax. Instead, holding her close, moving as one, everything slows, our breathing syncs, my mind empties and my eyes shut. A magnetic force I have never experienced before holds us in place and I feel her. All of her. Her breath on my face, her hands clutching my back tightly and where we are joined feels indescribably intense considering how slowly we are moving. It almost feels out-of-body. I have no idea how long we stay like that but, when Ariella starts to move with a familiar urgency that breaks our trance, I don’t have to think about matching. I just do.

I hold my girlfriend steady as she grinds down hard against me, pushing harder, deeper, further. Aari suddenly stops, takes in a sharp breath and, for lack of a better word, detonates in my arms. It’s silent, contained, but forceful. She contracts around me so tightly and rapidly that what starts as a tremble amplifies through her body and she takes me with her. I instinctively pull her off me, flip her round so that she’s on her knees and plunge into her. Again, again and again. The explosion that starts at the base of my brain shoots down my spine and rips through me so hard, I hold on to her tightly, until it subsides. My body feels heavy but my head is light.

What. THE FUCK.

Neither one of us moves for a while.

‘Please will you shower with me?’ I eventually ask quietly. She nods.

She hugs me from behind, with her head resting on my back, as we quietly make our way to the shower.

We slip into our old routine, washing each other. Ariella has washed my hair countless times before but when she does it this time I struggle to keep my emotions in check. I’m not sure what’s going on, but it’s all too much. I step out first as always, wrap a towel round me and, before I return with the usual two for her hair and body, I quickly grab a third and lay it on the huge wet patch we created in bed.

That night, we fall asleep facing each other, legs intertwined, with not just me holding her hand against my heart as usual, but Ariella also holding mine against hers.

‘It’s you, Caleb. It will always be you. It will never not be you,’ she says quietly.

I’m asleep before I can think of how to respond to the gravity of her words.

THIRTEEN

ARIELLA

It’s especially bright when I open my eyes the next morning. Caleb is awake with his palms crossed behind his head, looking up at the ceiling in deep thought.

‘Good morning, Black.’ I reach my palm across and place it on his warm chest.

‘I need to start behaving like an adult, Aari.’ He sighs deeply. ‘You may be my first actual relationship, but that excuse isn’t going to hold up for much longer with my bullshit.’ He drops his head to the side so his eyes can meet mine. ‘I know that you love me. I need to trust that you’re not interested in running away with…someone else. For us to survive, I need to share everything, no matter how frightening, because holding on to you dictates every single move I make. No one has ever really truly cared about me the way you do, and you deserve more than I give everyone else. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get here. I know you’ll disagree, but it’s time that I publicly break up with Honey. I’m done playing games. If I don’t change the way I handle things and grow the fuck up, I’m going to destroy us.’

---