Page 77 of Best Part of Me

He flinches, stepping back. “Is that what you really believe?”

“It doesn’t matter.” The tears are crawling their way up my throat, despite my best efforts to force them down. My eyes water, and crying is the very last thing I want to do right now. I won’t fall apart. Or let him comfort me.

Maverick takes my hand and pulls me into him. I go easily, and I hate myself for it. My strength is holding on by an unraveling thread. The desire to let it break completely and fall on him is raging. But I can’t. We both know it. One of us has to be stronger.

“It does matter. We matter. What we have matters.” He peers down at me, a thumb swiping at my traitorous tears.

“We agreed on ten days. That’s it.”

“Yeah? And you broke that agreement.”

My eyes shift, searching his. “Today is the tenth day. I didn’t break the agreement.”

“Today didn’t fucking count. You’ve hardly spoken to me since last night. You owe me another day. Come home with me tonight,” he pleads, holding me against him tightly.

Every fiber in my being wants to sayyes. I want to give in and go home with him. To make love to him one last time. To end things on a good note. But maybe we aren’t meant to. Maybe we’re meant to end messy. With things up in the air and feelings conflicted. Maybe it will make saying goodbye easier.

Because I know without a doubt that if I go home with him tonight, I will risk everything to stay with him. And I don’t have the luxury to be selfish. It’s not worth it if all I am is a secret fuckbuddy.

“I can’t.” I resist his hold on me, backing up. “You know I can’t.”

“Because you know if you do, you’ll never be able to leave me again.”

How does he read me so well?

I give into one thing—the tears. They fall freely and quickly. “Just let me go.”

“I won’t ever be able to let you go. You’re always gonna be in my heart, Sunshine. Forever.”

“Ha,” I scoff. “You say that now. But just you wait. There will always be another woman, another one-night stand, another stripper.”

My words hurt him. I can tell by the way his facial expression breaks. But that was my intention. This needs to be easier, or I might suffocate from my heartbreak. And slinging insults is easier.

He shrugs. “You’re probably right.”

“Screw you, Maverick.” I whip around and step back onto the curb. He wrenches my arm, but I don’t come easily this time as my adrenaline piques.

“But it won’t be anything more than that. Because if it’s not you, it’s not anyone. Because I fucking like you, Sunshine.”

My nickname from his lips, the one he’s been saying since we were kids, almost undoes me. Tempting me to change my mind, to exchange my fury for remorse. But I won’t allow myself to believe his words. My mind is delusional. Broken. Brainwashed. It can’t take his confession to heart.

Besides, he can’t even admit he loves me.

“You like the idea of me. Or the way I make you feel about yourself. When you’re with me, you’re not lonely, Mav.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare say my name like that when you’re pissed. When you’re ending things.”

“Guess what, M-a-v-e-r-i-c-k.” I enunciate each letter of his name. “You can’t end something that never began.”

He flinches again, and so do I. My heart shrivels. I swallow the regret of my words so I can finish this thing that was nothing. Or at least that’s what I try to tell Maverick while attempting to convince myself in the process.

“We never had a relationship.”

“You’re right,” he fires back. The agreement nearly knocks me onto my ass. “If it never began, then it was nothing.Wewere fucking nothing.” His words bite out into the dark, amplified by the quietness of the night. “So much for you promising you’ll never leave me.”

I choke on my sobs as I watch him stomp to the Jeep and climb in. He slams the door and turns over the ignition almost simultaneously and tears off down the street. I stay on the curb, staring after him until I can no longer see him through my blurry vision.

Whether or not it was real between Maverick and me, whatever it was, it’s over now.

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