Page 31 of For the Cameras

He shrugged, taking a sip of beer. “I don’t know, Chase. I’m not good at reading people to begin with, but you’ve been acting…differentaround me, I guess. For most of my life, when people acted different around me, it only meant bad things.”

“No. God no,” I said. “No bad things. Adam, I really, really like you.”

The look on his face almost broke my heart. “Back in high school, I had a couple of friends who dropped me like a hot potato out of nowhere. It’s really stuck with me.”

“What happened?”

“Well, as kids, we were a trio,” he said. “We hung out all day, every day. Grew up together. But in middle school, things started to change. They always chose to hang out with other, more athletic guys, and I spent more time alone. Then in the first year of high school, they started really wanting to hook up with girls, drink, do drugs… until finally, they told me I was weird, and too nerdy, and that I was getting in their way, or something like that.”

Looking at Adam now, it was impossible to imagine anyone treating him that way. “Getting in their way?” I said softly.

“It was no big deal.”

I furrowed my brow. “It sure fucking sounds like a big deal. That would have destroyed me, especially at such a young age.”

Adam shrugged one shoulder, looking off into the evening air. “I was alone, mostly, after that,” he said. “Learned to get through school on my own.”

“You didn’t have friends in high school?”

He just shook his head and looked down. “Not really.”

God, that look killed me.

Rightin the fucking chest.

“Adam…” I said, not even knowing how to process how lonely it must have been for a kid like him.

“But I know other people had it worse, with bullying.”

“It’s still fucked up,” I said. “Just because they weren’t bullying you physically doesn’t mean it felt good.”

“Thanks, Chase.”

“They’re crazy, too. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you?”

He puffed out a laugh, looking down at his beer. “Lots of people.”

“I want to be your friend,” I said. “And I sure as hell didn’t ask you to come over tonight to tell you I hate you.”

“Good,” he said. “It sounds silly when I say it out loud. I guess I’m conditioned to expect the worst.”

An old Mustang drove down Spruce Street, its red tail lights glowing as the engine purred through the night. The silence bloomed between us, and with every passing second I knew I should justsayit.

I should tell him the truth.

Or sayanything, for fuck’s sake.

Looking at Adam here on the balcony felt so completely different from looking at him in his videos that he may as well have been a different version of himself.

I’d gotten the urge to fuck Adam about a thousand times since I’d started watching his videos, but now I was getting the urge to pull him into a hug all over again.

Maybe a huganda kiss. But still.

There was a growing sense of protection I was starting to feel for Adam. He’d clearly been hurt before, more than once, and no matter how old and “silly” those wounds might feel to him, I knew they were real.

“Chase,” Adam said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Could I ask where your restroom is?”

I let out a breath, releasing whatever tension had been building in me. “Of course. I should have shown you earlier. It’s right through here.”

---