Page 78 of For the Cameras

“I should probably get going,” he said, but when he caught my eyes there was a question behind his gaze.

I was pretty sure he didn’t want to leave.

Pretty sure he was only saying it because he thought it was what I would want—what I’dshownhim that I wanted, in the past.

And even though it felt impossible, I knew that right now, it wasn’t what I wanted at all.

Just say it, I told myself.

Why was it so hard to say?

I swallowed hard past a tightness in my throat. “I…” I started, unable to finish the sentence.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll just head out.”

It felt like he was ripping my heart in two.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I finally said, my voice coming out timid but desperate, in a way that almost never happened for me.

His eyes briefly widened. “It’s no trouble. I can get home easily.”

“Will you stay here with me?” I asked, feeling like I was asking for the whole world.

I couldn’t imagine more tension in the air.

Hookups were easy.

But actually wanting someone to spend the night and asking them if they would? That was like teetering on a tightrope, to me.

Because I wanted him to say yes. So fucking badly it hurt.

I wanted it just as much as I’d wanted him to fuck me earlier tonight.

“Sure,” he said simply.

Relief cascaded through me so quickly it was embarrassing. It was like he’d just told me I won the lottery.

I swallowed past a tightness in my throat. “Okay,” I said softly.

“Um, sometimes I toss and turn a little bit as I’m falling asleep. Is that going to bother you, or—”

“Toss and turn as much as you want,” I interjected. “Toss onto me all night. Push up against me or sleep on me like you’re my weighted blanket, for all I care.”

He smiled gently, the skin around his amazing green eyes crinkling up. “Chase, I thought you said you didn’t like people spending the night.”

Yes, but the thought of you leaving my side right now kind of makes me want to explode, and I can’t figure out why.

“I don’t like it, usually,” I said. “I just want it tonight, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay,” he said gently. “Then I’ll stay with you.”

Once I’d asked him to stay the night, it was like the tension morphed into some beautiful, magical agreement between the two of us. I felt like I was a teenager having a secret sleepover, doing something I hadn’t done in a long time. I let Adam have a spare toothbrush, and in another few minutes, the two of us were tucking under the sheets together. The weight of another person sleeping next to me in bed—actuallysleeping—was foreign but somehow so good.

I liked Adam’s bulk. I liked how the bed sank a little next to me, causing me to naturally move in closer to him and touch the side of his body.

I turned off the light on my bedside table and we were cast into darkness. The light from outside filtered in through the slats of my blinds, and the occasional sounds of the street faintly came up from below.

I was peaceful and giddy all at once. I wanted to hop on top of him, cover him in kisses, and dig my fingers into his hair. Instead I lay there motionless, listening to the sounds of him shifting in bed gently.

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