Page 39 of For the Cameras

“Of course I do,” I said, letting my voice drop low as I leaned in, unable to resist capturing his lips one more time between my teeth. I pulled back a moment later, resting my forehead on his. “But when we fuck for the first time, I don’t want you to be so drunk you barely remember it.”

He groaned, squeezing my hand. “You say that like you already know we’re going to…”

“Fuck?” I offered, trailing my free hand down the front of his shirt. “Yeah. I think we probably will.”

He moaned deeply and pulled in a sharp breath through his teeth. He bucked his hips forward, pressing the very hard tent in his pants up against my leg. I had been talking some big game, rolling the dice and hoping that he would like what I said.

In reality, I had no idea if we were going to have sex or not. I’d been disappointed enough times in the past to know that Icouldn’t expect anything until it happened. And I wasn’t going to have Adam drunk, vulnerable, and caught up in the moment, thinking he wanted to hook up with me when in reality he wanted to be in love.

Even just thinking about the wordlovefelt like pressing a deep, black-and-blue bruise inside me.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let myself think about “true love.” I’d all but given up on the idea that it could exist for me at all.

Adam swayed slightly in my arms, and he let out a slow sigh. “I think I need some more water. And maybe a little bit of food?”

He really was drunk, at least for the time being, after pounding multiple shots almost back-to-back.

“Right. Of course. Let me see what I’ve got.”

I kept my hand in his, squeezing it again as I pulled him inside toward the kitchen. I popped on the lights underneath my cabinets, casting the kitchen in low light as Adam sat down at my breakfast bar.

This was good.

The kitchen. Neutral territory.

Where I didn’t have to think about the fact that I’d told Adam I thought we were probably going to fuck. My mouth had been running on a mind of its own, with no sense of a filter, puppeteered by my cock.

Why thefuckhad I said that?

“Okay,” I said as I poked my head into the fridge, trying to focus on anything else. “I have some strawberries, some chocolate, some whipped cream… how do you feel about breakfast for dinner? Some nighttime pancakes?”

“That sounds like heaven on Earth,” he said. “Maybe you were right. Eating pancakes is a fine replacement for sex. Who needs a really cute guy deep inside them when you can just eat whipped cream and carbs instead?”

I groaned. “Adam, I was joking when I said the stuff about us hooking up.”

He held my gaze. “No you weren’t.”

“Okay. Fine. I wasn’t,” I said. “But there’s still no chance in hell I’m even considering that unless you get some food in you.”

“You really think I only want you because I’m drunk?” he said. “Chase, I think about you when I’m analyzing data sets. I think about your dimples when I’m in the shower. I think about your eyes anytime I see something blue.”

Every little thing he told me only made my heart and my cock ache more.

I wasn’t used to someone being so fuckingsweetto me at the same time that they were begging for my dick.

It was a lot less complicated when guys didn’t actually give a damn about me, and when I knew they only wanted me for sex. How the hell was I supposed to handle a guy who wanted true love, deep down?

“Thank you,” I finally told him, my mind swirling from the obscenely sweet things he’d said to me. “But we need to cook food. And cooking while erect isn’t advisable.”

“Cooking while erect,” Adam said, giving me a half-lidded stare. “Is that a fire hazard, or just a great name for my next OnlyShots video?”

I puffed out a laugh as I slapped the ingredients onto the kitchen counter near the stove.

“You think your followers want to see you cooking up silver dollar strawberry pancakes while you’re hard as a rock?”

He paused for a second, his drunken stare getting a smolder behind it. He finally shrugged a shoulder, his gaze like a challenge. “I don’t know. Want to find out?”

He stood up, still staring at me while he slowly started to unbuckle his belt.

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