Page 38 of For the Cameras

I held eye contact, even though I felt like I was about to explode. The air between us suddenly felt like it was crackling with electricity.

I couldn’t stop looking at his mouth.

He looked from my eyes to my lips and back again, like he was finally letting himself acknowledge the draw between the two of us, too.

“You’re holding back?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded once. “I think I am.”

He squeezed my hand. “Don’t hold back with me.”

I acted on instinct, closing the distance between us like I was a magnet being pulled by something outside my control. For a split second I hovered near his lips, feeling his warmth before I leaned in and pressed my mouth to his.

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I swore he’d be able to hear it. I could have been tipsy or drunk or sober to the bone and it wouldn’t have mattered, because this wasn’t the type of thing I ever had the guts to do.

But I’d done it.

And now my lips were on Chase’s, and he let out a small, low moan that made every bit of the risk worth it.

He gently sucked on my lower lip, and he may as well have been sucking my cock for how ludicrously good it felt. I was desperate for so much more than just his kiss. It was the firsttime I’d kissed another guy, and the mountain of desire I’d ignored for years of my life was suddenly all on display, utterly exposed inside me.

I had always kept myself in control with other people, and right now I had lost control completely.

It felt like being in free-fall.

I was brazen and greedy, the same way I acted when I filmed my videos. My hands found their way to Chase’s waist and I pulled him in, threading my fingertips under the hem of his shirt and feeling his soft skin.

And holyfuck, it felt good to touch him.

11

CHASE

When I’d told Adam that tonight was never meant to be a hookup, I had been telling the truth.

And now that Adam’s lips were on mine, I could confirm beyond all doubt that kissing him wasn’t like anything I’d ever done before, either.

Adam’s lips tasted like a hint of watermelon vodka, and when his tongue slid out against mine it only became stronger. Every part of me wanted to yank him in even closer, to pull him right to my bed and lick every inch of his body, to show himexactlyhow desirable he really was.

Other than the very loud, very persistent part of me that was ringing like an alarm bell, right now.

“Hey,” I said against his lips as I felt him squeeze the skin near the small of my back. “This isn’t just the alcohol making moves on me, is it?”

“Fuck,” he whispered, running his lips along the side of my jaw. It sent a shiver of desire through me, and all I wanted to do was lean into his kiss again. “I wanted you when I was sober, too. I just was too afraid to do anything about it.”

I hummed as he sucked a slow kiss on the side of my neck. I reached for one of his hands, gripping it in mine and holding it tight for a moment. His hands felt so big, and feeling his height this close to me made me feel small in the best way.

“I have to ask you something, Adam,” I said. “And I kind of hate myself for it, but I need to know.”

“Please. Ask me anything,” he said.

“Is this really your first time doing anything with another guy?” I asked gently.

He pulled back, looking me in the eyes, a sense of worry settling in his expression. “That doesn’t matter. I’ve wanted it for years, Chase, IknowI want it, and I don’t care if it’s just a one-time thing.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I told him, squeezing his hand a little tighter. “I promise you, I want to do absolutely fuckingeverythingwith you.”

I loved the flash of raw need that went through his eyes as I said it. “You do?”

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