Page 71 of Never Forever

His big wide hands cupped my ass, pulling me against him. Grinding his rock hard dick against the center of my body, where I felt needy and wet. Empty.

Years. It had beenyearssince I’d felt this way. Not that I’d tell him that.

“Captain Sullivan?” The loudspeaker crackled to life. “Report to the helm. Please?”

For a second we were so still, we weren’t even breathing. I couldn’t think. A little bit, I wanted to cry. About what, I wasn’t sure. That we’d started this? That we couldn’t finish it?

I waited for him to say something. Anything. Only I knew, I would be waiting forever.

Matt Sullivan didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do.

I ran my hands down my sides as if to smooth every feather he’d ruffled. “Sounds like there’s a ferry captain emergency out there,” I managed to quip, pleased that my voice sounded better than I felt.

“Carrie,” he groaned. He took one deep breath and pressed his forehead to mine. Like he didn’t want to leave, like he just wanted to linger here with me. Like he didn’t have control.

My heart started to race again.

My fingers itched to touch him. To trace the muscles around his spine. The curve of his ear. I could practically feel the silk of his hair against the tender inside of my palm.

“What are we doing to each other?” he asked.

“Well, maybe it’s been a while for you, but I think it’s pretty-”

“Stop. Stop making jokes. Just…” he leaned back and I realized he was angry.

Instantly, I put away all my foolish longing and made my face match his. Made my anger stiffen my legs and harden my heart.

If he was going to be mad. I was going to be furious.

He reached a hand forward and for a stupid second my heart thought he was reaching for me again. But it was just the door behind me.

Without looking at me he said, “Get out of town, Carrie, Before we do something we’ll both regret.”

With those gutting words, he grabbed a buoy like that was what he was doing in here and left me in the closet.

I stood in the dark and felt the ferry kiss the dock. There was the clank of the passenger gate being lowered, the cheerful sounds of a few excited birders walking past my buoy closet of shame.

What more was there to regret? I wondered. I already regretted everything.

When it was silent, I gathered myself and left.

I walked off the boat, my head held high, the only one aware of my ruined panties. The ache between my legs, and worse, the one under my rib cage.

16

The Next Day

Carrie

It was official. The shooting was wrapped as of this afternoon. I’d cleaned out my trailer, saved my vision board, but tossed all the Christmas decorations. I’d asked Jessica if I could burn my scarves but she went on about fire codes.

Saying goodbye to a crew was bittersweet. For the duration of a shoot, we were all a family. Forged in a creative, hard-working fire. There were gifts and weepy goodbyes. And then it was…over. All those inside jokes, gone. All those late nights and early mornings, over.

I was excited about what was coming next for me. A break. A baby and a family.

Still feeling a little adrift, I made my way out to the bandshell. It was stupid to keep coming back here. Like poking my tongue against a tooth I knew was sore.

But I couldn’t sit in my hotel room. I couldn’t watch my sister spin out about the repairs that were needed for the house, or head out to the island where Mom and Gran were in deeparguments about the cruise they were going to take while the repairs were being done.

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