Page 150 of Never Forever

“When have either one of us been able to control what Carrie does?” She smiled at me like we were on a secret team.

She was right. Carrie did what she wanted. There would be no talking her out of staying, if that’s what she felt like she needed to do.

“She will put her life aside to help you. She’ll stop going on auditions and she’ll stay here. With you.”

I couldn’t breathe. Because of course she would do that. Of course, she would.

The walls of the house were closing in on me and I had to go outside.

I walked out the door to the back yard. The air was cold and the stars were bright, but I couldn’t breathe any better. I put my hands on my hips and tried to keep myself from breaking into a million pieces.

“Matt,” she said from the doorway. “I didn’t come here tonight to be some villain in your love story. I wanted to talk with you. About your plans for the future. What you imagined living in Boston might look like. But that’s all changed. You know that, right? There isn’t going to be any Boston. Not with your father as sick as he is.”

Numb, I nodded.

That’s when it all cracked open inside me. The truth. The truth I’d known since I’d sat across from the doctor next to my dad in that stupid little medical office and the doctor said the word cancer.

These past few weeks had all been an exercise in delusion and Mrs. Piedmont was just calling it out. There was no hiding this from anyone. Not indefinitely. Because there was no way Dad was going to be fine in a few weeks or a few months.

I wasn’t going fucking anywhere. And I knew if I stayed, Carrie would too.

“She would give up everything for you, Matt. She made her feelings quite clear to me. So, I’m asking you. Would you do the same for her?”

The world spun around me.

“Matt?”

“What do you want from me?” I cried.

She had the audacity to look pained. “I want you to let her go,” she said. “So she can be the person she should be.”

I looked up at the stars and wished she was wrong. But she was right. She was completely right and deep down I’d known it all along.

“I hope you’ll do the right thing,” Mrs. Piedmont said, and went back inside. I watched her through the window, as she picked up her ugly purse and made her way through my shabby house to the front door.

It felt like she took my soul with her.

I was a night sky without stars.

I was Matt Sullivan without Carrie Piedmont.

I didn’t know how to live this life without her.

But I was going to have to figure it out.

Three Weeks Later

When He Broke Both Their Hearts

Carrie got on the train.

When it pulled away from the station, it felt like it was attached to my heart. Bloody and torn ragged right out of my chest as it picked up speed and took Carrie away.

There. I thought. It’s done.

I drove back home, numb. More than numb. Dead inside.

Mrs. Piedmont’s car was parked on the street out front. It wasn’t a surprise to see it anymore. She’d been stopping by regularly. With meals, and pots of soup and puzzles she thought my dad would like.

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