Page 109 of Never Forever

“Mom lost hers years ago and I don’t know if Gran ever had hers, but Annie and I have keys.”

He looked up at the ceiling like he was counting to ten. I couldn’t help but laugh, if this guy was going to get irritated now, he had a long road ahead of him.

My stomach growled loud enough Jonah could hear it.

“You hungry?” I asked him.

“No,” he said.

“Coffee? I think I have some.”

“I’m not here to eat and drink. This house is supposed to be empty.”

“Suit yourself,” I said and walked down the empty hallway to the kitchen. You could tell where the pictures used to be on the walls. Lighter squares on the cream paint. At Matt’s instance, I’d picked up some groceries before coming out here. Healthy food. Fresh fruit and vegetables. Eggs. Of course what I wanted was a cheeseburger. With bacon and a bunch of cheese. And a big slice of tomato. For the baby.

“Hmmm,” I said and took out a yogurt. It didn’t have fruit on the bottom. Former me was a real buzz kill.

The kitchen had a big window looking out at the backyard, and wide granite countertops. Modern-ish appliances because the old ones had been replaced over time. A charming little breakfast nook in the corner where the sun gathered and lingered until noon.

We’d had this room renovated a few years ago and so it wasn’t supposed to get touched in the renovation. Though, Jonah had warned us there would be some collateral damage from the basement work and all the plumbing and electrical that was going to get fixed.

“If you’re all right, I’ll be on my way. I’ll probably be back tomorrow with some more supplies. You really need to think about not being here. It’s going to be loud when we start work on the foundation.”

Jonah had the pale complexion and the strawberry blonde hair of an Englishman. The broken nose of a rugby player. He was not at all a charmer. He was a get shit done guy. I liked that about him.

“I’ll consider it,” I said, knowing I was lying. If it was a choice between the sound of construction or the sound of other people around me, I would take the jackhammer any day.

Eventually, Jonah left and I tried to imagine my yogurt was a cheeseburger, but it didn’t work.

I wandered around the rooms thinking about paint colors and furniture options. It was easy to do. The house was really empty. We had done a good job getting rid of everything. Even the old musty books in the den were gone.

I went back upstairs to my inflatable bed, gave it a little air and crawled back under the covers. I couldn’t find the right spot to get comfortable and decided it was the pillows. Like my head wouldn’t just sink into the feathers. Only it wasn’t the pillows,it was really all my hair with the extensions. I tried to rearrange the braid so I could get comfortable, but it was impossible.

Again, I crawled out of my bed and looked through all the drawers in the kitchen for a pair of scissors or a very sharp knife.

No dice.

Resigned to another day as Rapunzel, I got back into my bed and pulled up my lawyer’s email address on my phone and thought about sending a message about a custody agreement. However, the words didn’t come. I slipped my hand under Gran’s housecoat and pressed my hand against my still flat stomach.

A baby.

I was having a baby.

With Matt Sullivan.

I closed my eyes. A couple of hot, happy tears slipped down my cheeks and I just let myself imagine the future. Me and my kid. Onesies and naps. Breast feeding and cute little hats. For both of us. The boy…or girl…with Matt’s green eyes and my smile. My charming personality. His ass. But also, it wouldn’t be so bad if they were as calm as Matt.

As steadfast. As loyal.

To everyone but me.

I took a deep breath and fought to open my eyes, but by the time I exhaled, I was asleep.

I wokeup to another pounding on the door and a darker sky outside my window. The sun was gone and the first of the evening stars were scattered across a dark blue sky. I fought my way out of sleep like it was a spider web. My stomach growled. How long had I been asleep?

I rolled out of my air mattress bed and onto the floor, the house dress caught around me.

Another pounding.

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