Page 106 of Never Forever

“I want to,” I said. “You’re having my baby.”

Oh my God. She was having my baby.

“I can’t just forget the last few years. And we can’t forget the last few months,” she said. “We’ve been awful to each other.”

I nodded, but held up my hand. “Carrie, have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that was? Why two people who dated ten years ago…never got over it?”

She turned her face away, hiding behind her sunglasses. “I’m just saying this isn’t going to be easy.”

“Good thing I’ve never liked easy.”

I droppedher at the ferry and watched her get on the boat. Then I turned the truck around and drove over to my father’s place.

“Dad?” I said, walking in the front door.

“Son,” he said, coming out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel over his shoulder. “Where in the world have you been these past few weeks? I thought you might have been kidnapped.”

“Just busy,” I said.

“I’m making a sandwich, you want one?” he asked, and watched me as I crossed over to the coffee mugs. I got the good whiskey from the cabinet above the fridge.

“You’re going to want to sit down, Dad.”

“Can I sit down with my sandwich?”

“Knock yourself out.”

He finished making his ham and cheese and then crossed to the little table in front of the window, with the view of his garden. He wore a pale pink tee shirt today from some five mile cancer run I did years ago. I must have done a million of those things. Helpless and scared, I did what I always did – ran.

No more fucking running.

“Dad,” I said, and poured whiskey in the mugs.Dad, I thought, and felt the tears come back,I’m about to make you so happy.

“Well, what are we drinking to?” he asked, lifting up half his ham sandwich and taking a bite.

“Grandkids.”

It didn’t hit him right away, he lifted the mug, ready to take a sip, and then… he stopped. His hand started shaking. He put down the sandwich.

“Don’t you be fucking around with me,” he whispered.

“You’re going to be a grandfather,” I said.

“Who?” he breathed.

I swallowed. “Carrie.”

“What?!” With a leap he stood up from the table, the chair falling behind him. “Where is she? What happened?”

“You told me all about it in fifth grade, remember?”

“Don’t be a smart ass,” he said.

I stood up too, because the house was vibrating with excitement and joy. “It wasn’t planned. And it’s not… ideal.”

I could see his mind turn to the worst. He lifted a hand to his stomach and then his mouth. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Healthy. She’s not very far along and she doesn’t want to tell anyone until she’s further along, but I just couldn’t keep this from you. I had to tell you.”

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