Page 111 of Never Forever

“Oh my God, Carrie,” Matt said. “I can’t watch this. Let me.”

I handed him the knife and he walked me toward the sink, his hands on my shoulders. His chest close, but not touching my back. I could feel the heat from his body. The steady weight of his hands. I remembered that lightning bolt of lust I’d felt in the doctor’s office and really hoped it would be a one-off kind of thing. A fleeting pregnancy craving that wouldn’t return.

However, as the heat of his hands radiated across my skin, I was scared this particular Matt craving was going to stick around.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, and I could smell the tea he’d had on his breath.

“Are you kidding? It’s too late now. Very sure. Proceed with the hair whacking!”

Carefully, Matt cut off pieces of the hair. “I’m not sure this is…good,” he said. It was a very Matt thing to say.

“It will be great,” I said. “Trust me. I’ll feel so much better.”

His heat surrounded me. The scent of him filled my head. My world shrunk to him and my skin. My nipples were very interested in this haircut.

His fingertips brushed the back of my neck and I flinched.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, very still behind me. I could feel his breath on my exposed neck.

“No,” I said. “I just…” couldn’t quite put it into words that he’d startled me. That I was so sensitive to his touch it felt like agony. “Keep going.”

With every cut of his blade I felt lighter. Better. When the last hunk was cut I thought I might float up to the ceiling.

“Oh my God, that feels amazing,” I laughed, and turned to see Matt wincing.

“It looks like shit.”

“Well, it’s only you, me and the birds out here, Matt. I think I’ll be okay.”

I rubbed my head, scratched my scalp. Shook my hair back and felt…free.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I guess, you’re welcome?”

I almost hugged him. That’s how happy I was in this moment. I almost forgot better sense and all the dire warnings my brain was sending my body and threw my arms around him. In my life there was no one I liked being happy with, more than Matt Sullivan.

His lip quirked, like my happiness was spreading to him, and he touched the tips of my hair. And there was no reason I should feel his fingers in my hair, but I did.

I stepped sideways around him, breaking this painful contact.

“Thank you so much for bringing the food. I have stuff to cook, I just didn’t feel like it.”

“My pleasure,” he said, subdued.

I pulled that big juicy cheeseburger out of the Styrofoam container, took a deep breath and… gagged.

“Carrie?”

“Oh my God.”

“Are you….?”

I put the cheeseburger down and stepped away from the counter. “I can’t eat that,” I whispered. That beautiful cheeseburger that had literally been all I wanted for as long as I could remember. Tears filled my eyes. “I can’t eat that.”

“Okay,” Matt looked at me and down at the burger. “The fries were good, right?”

I nodded. They were so good.

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