Page 17 of Swim To Me

Showing up in the first place isn’t easy. But it can be worth it. Being willing to make a change isn’t easy. Learning something new isn’t—

“Let me dip my toe in tonight before I lose my nerve again.”

Delilah’s suggestion doesn’t take me by surprise. Yes, she’s scared. It’s obvious in the quake in her voice, in her tight strung body language, in the way she keeps pinching at her bare earlobe. I’ve seen enough fear in my life to smell it, practically taste it on the tip of my tongue.

But there’s steel in Delilah too.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t be here, setting down her own ground rules, willing to give the water another chance.

“Okay,” I agree simply, so as to not scare her off even further. “Ready when you are, Delilah.”

She rises, finally letting go of her towel to hang it over the metal railing, and then I watch as she makes her way over to the pool side and stands at the top of the staircase staring down into the supple aquamarine surface.

“How about I get in the water first?” I suggest, already kicking off my flip flops.

I descend the metal set of stairs and as soon as the shallow water laps at my feet, kissing its way up my shins, and past my waist, I feel all stored tension release from my body. The water – having seen every inch of me; happy, elated, worried and sad – welcomes me without hesitation.

I put my back to the lip of the pool, fixing my gaze on Delilah, purely for safety reasons of course.

That, and she’s hardnotto look at.

Without her towel to cover her now, I notice the plain black bathing costume she wears, the only bit of detail added by the white lining rolling up and over her hips. She’s a short thing or at least short in comparison to my six-foot-two frame.

I tell myself I’m simply doing my duty as a first aid medical professional, as my eyes stray across her ample curves to the spot she’d grazed last week, finding nothing but a fresh patch of healed shiny, pink skin.

Water laps steadily at my t-shirt covered chest as Delilah wades in further, away from the steps, her legs disappearing, forcing my line of eyesight to move up to her face.

“Good, Delilah,” I hear myself praise. “Try to take another step.”

The smile she offers to me is wan. But at least it’s there, even if her jaw is clenching.

“Cold?”

“Mhm.” Delilah dips her chin as the water rises to her hips, wading towards me until her fingers can latch onto the lip of the shallow end of the pool with a death grip. She peers up at me, her swallow visible “So… what do I do now?”

“How about we try walking to the first set of flags?” I point ahead to the closest set of red, white and blue triangles suspended above the water. “The water level won’t change until we get there, so you’ll still be able to reach the floor.”

I don’t fail to register Delilah’s eyes widening.

“You’ll be warmer if you keep moving…”

“Okay, I can do this.” Delilah’s fingers flap beneath the surface of the water, causing tiny ripples, while she talks to herself. “Ican do this. Just one foot in front of the other, Delilah, one step in front of the other…”

I don’t have time to say anything else before Delilah is off, attempting to walk through the water as fast as she can to reach the flags, grasping fistfuls of the cold water as if to pull herself along an invisible rope.

“Delilah. Hey, Delilah! Slow down!”

I wade towards her quickly, feeling her shake beneath me as I gently take a hold of her right forearm.

“What happened to taking things slowly? At your own pace?”

“I—”

“Just walk forward slowly, focus on your breathing, get used to the water around you. It’s not a race.”

We stay suspended for a moment, the waves of the water kissing our waists. Delilah huffs through her nose, lips upturned at the corners, eyes narrowed playfully in my direction. “It’s not fair that you’re entirely too calm with of all of this, while I’m standing here like a nervous wreck.”

“All of this?” I question, taking a step forward and guiding Delilah to do the same.

---