Page 12 of Swim To Me

“Aurelia—”

Crunch.

Aurelia bites down on the stick of celery, which was once protruding from her bloody Mary cocktail, chewing obnoxiously, while pushing my mobile phone across the table with the tips of her fingers.

“What have you—”

On cue, my phone vibrates with an incoming notification.

Grey: I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday, Delilah x

Shock fizzes thickly through my veins with a shot of anger.

“What thefuck, Aurelia?” I spit out, practically frothing. I can feel it, all of it, everything. A knot of sheer fear lands in the pit of my stomach. My palms are suddenly wet with sweat, fingertips tingling uncomfortably, and my brain and my heart have decided they’re in a competition with one another to see which can race the fastest, until I’m spiralling out of control.

I’m out of control. I’m so out of control.

I can see Aurelia’s lips moving, but I can’t register anything beyond that. Blood rushes through my ears as if I’m stuck underwater.I’m stuck. I’m stuck. I’m stuck.Heat pools in my cheeks, leaving them rosy red and hot to the touch.

My sister wraps her fingers around my wrist. “Delilah, listen. Take a deep breath and listen to me. Please.”

I inhale raggedly.God, I’m lightheaded.

“If you’re really that terrified, you don’t have to show up, okay?” she says, eyes wide and imploring. “But I – and please don’t be upset with me when I say this – but I think this could be good for you, Delilah. Sometimes I think… you’retooin your comfort zone, and I get it, you like it there. It’s familiar. But what happens if this is a chance to see what happens when you step out of that comfort zone for a little bit?”

“Why do you want me to go so bad?” I murmur.

“Because… I’m seeing this as a chance to learn something new. You love learning new things! To try something new, not to prove a point, but to empower yourself, Delilah. You’ve got the opportunity, why not take it? It’s something away from working all the time, someplace you don’t have to be in competition with yourself twenty-four seven. I want you to be happy, I want you to do something for yourself, nobody else. Live a little and see what happens!”

“And if I hate it, Aura? What then? If I don’t feel in control, because—”

“You are in control.” Aura squeezes my hand tightly. “If you hate it, you can walk straight out and never go back!”

My heart is still racing, mouth dry, but I don’t feel quite so sick, and the babbling of the cafe is returning behind me.

Aurelia searches my face. “You okay?”

“I will be. What did you–what did you text him in the first place?”

“I kinda, might have, pretended to be you,” Aurelia says sheepishly, screwing her face up apologetically. “Will it make the situation any better if I tell you he replied straight away? As if he was waiting for you—”

“He wasn’t waiting for me.”

“Okay, hewasn’twaiting for you.” Aura’s eyes roll good naturedly. “But he did reply quickly.”

“And?” I can’t believe I’m even daring to ask, to even entertain the bloody thought.

“And…” Aurelia nibbles at her watery vegetable stick some more. “He’s expecting you to show up on Wednesday.”

“Just like that?”

She nods. “Just like that. It’s all on you now to decide whether or not to show up, Delilah.”

Chapter 4

Grey

Kicking off from the grooved wall, I tighten my core muscles to keep my body horizontal, lengthen out my legs behind me, my arms in front of me, and allow the cool water of the pool to slice over the top of my head.

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