Page 40 of Baby for Dr. Damaged

“He was beautiful,” says Jackson.

I nod, still choked up with emotion. The smile won’t leave me now, and the joy of knowing that there are no issues with his development overwhelms even my concern over Margur’s diagnosis. At least we only have one problem to deal with.

“Does Dr. Kuhns do water births?” I ask.

Jackson seems a little surprised by the question, but I’ve given it a lot of thought. So long as I don’t have complications and don’t need a C-section, then that’s the way I want to do it. It’s supposed to aid in mobilization after the birth, meaning that I hopefully won’t be laid up for as long afterward, and it’s supposed to be a lot easier on the mother and the child.

If we don’t have a cure developed by the time that our baby is born, then I want to make sure that the birthing process is as easy for him as possible.

“I’m not sure,” admits Jackson. “But I can find out. If she doesn’t, I’m sure that she can point us in the direction of a good doctor who can help with it.”

“Is that okay?” I ask.

Jackson laughs. “The baby isn’t coming out of me, Amanda. You can go with whatever you think is best. I trust you on that.”

He finally pulls his hand away from mine, but it’s a clearly reluctant motion and only because he needs both hands on the wheel to back out of the parking lot.

“You’re coming home with me, right?” he asks.

I spend more time at Jackson’s house than I do at my own these days, but the move hasn’t become official yet. I can’t just up and change addresses without telling my family where I’m moving, and so far, I’ve managed to avoid droppingthatbomb on them.

Harris will understand. I think that he already knows, actually, and my mother—well, it’s not like I'm actively keeping it from her but I’m not going out of my way to let her know what’s going on, either.

I think, at the end of the day, that she’s just going to be happy that I’ve found someone who loves me.

But my father…He’s another story entirely. He’s protective, he’s a traditionalist, and I know that he’s not going to be happy with me dating someone so much older. I can't even imagine how he'll react to that person being his friend no less. It’s going to cause a huge problem, and I just don’t want to deal with it yet.

And then, when I tell them both that their grandson is sick the same way that Harris is? God, there’s nothing about that conversation that’s going to be easy, enjoyable, or fun. So yes, I’m definitely avoiding telling my dad.

I hope that Jackson doesn’t mind too much. I think considering everything that is happening, I’m allowed to be a little bit childish, just with this one little, mostly inconsequential thing.

Not forever, either. Just for a little bit longer.

I don’t realize that I’ve zoned out until Jackson reaches over and puts a hand on my cheek. “Are you alright?”

“Sorry,” I say, quickly. “What was the question?”

“Are you coming home with me?” Jackson repeats, but he flashes me a concerned look when he says it.

“Yes,” I tell him, nodding. “And don’t look at me like that, I’m fine. I just have a lot going on in my head right now. I… I wasn’t there for a few minutes.”

“I noticed that,” says Jackson, but there’s no amusement in his voice, only concern.

He’s done a good job at trying to hide it, but I know that our son’s diagnosis is weighing on him, heavy as a thousand-pound weight. All of the extra hours that he’s putting into researching the illness is starting to get to him, too.

There’s an air of exhaustion that always seems to be clinging to the man, and a dark shadow starting to form beneath his gorgeous eyes that didn’t use to be there. Concern is building up constantly in my own chest, too, and not just for my child.

It’s also for Jackson.

I try to pull myself into the present for the rest of the drive home, making sure that I’m there for him the same way that he has always been there for me. We’re early enough that Bonnie isn’t home from school yet, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to have the house to ourselves for long.

Any moment now, the little girl will come bouncing through the room, filled with endless energy. We haven't told her that she’s going to be a big sister just yet, but only because I think we’re both scared.

No one wants to explain to Bonnie that her baby brother could be born sick. A part of Jackson, I know, is hoping that we’ll have the cure developed before then. And I am, too. For all of us.

Chapter nineteen

Jackson

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