Page 13 of Baby for Dr. Damaged

He said that he’d been thinking about this. Does that mean it’s what he normally thinks about when he looks at me?

“We should finish our rounds,” says Jackson, clearing his throat.

I nod at him. “Right.”

And then we both stand there for a moment, just staring at each other. My cheeks feel hot, and I duck out of the room quickly, into the hallway. He hurries after me. It’s easy to fall back into the professional routine.

Checking on the rooms and the patients doesn’t do much to distract me from the ache in my lower back, but it stops me from thinking too hard about how Jackson might view me.

We take care of our patients, writing out orders, making sure that everything is how it should be, checking in with the nurses. It’s a quiet night, there aren’t any emergencies and not much to do. It’s why we were able to slip away in the first place.

The upside? We don’t need to rush around.

The downside? We don’t need to rush around.

I take every chance I can to put distance between us but it’s not fair. I’ve spent the better part of my adult life, and at least the last year of my teenage years, with the world’s biggest crush on Jackson. Like, forget about having posters of bands on your closet door. The only guy that I’ve ever been interested in wasJackson.

I’ve messed around before, sure, but I’ve never had a serious relationship or even interest in dating someone. And the fact that now I’ve gotten tohaveJackson, and might be able to have him again, but I can’t even be happy about it is frustrating to say the least.

I step in to check on Ms. Waverly who suffered from a head injury. At eighty-seven years old, she fell in the shower and just needs to be watched.

She asks, “Will the doctor be in soon? Oh, what was his name…”

“Doctor Hawk,” I answer. “And yes, he will be here shortly.”

Even while busily working, there’s no way to get him off my mind, that nagging thought coming back again and again. Jackson said he’s been thinking about this for a while.

Is that all he thinks about when he sees me? I know that I should be flattered, but I’m actually a little frustrated and very embarrassed. I want Jackson to view me as a professional, someone that can really make a difference in the industry. Someone that’s worth working at his side.

And I’m worried that by sleeping with him, I might have just messed that up.

Dawn is just starting to paint the land in shades of yellow when we leave the hospital, our shift finally over. Exhaustion burns at my eyes, and I scrub at them with one hand, the other adjusting the messy top knot that my hair has been pulled up into.

Jackson reaches out, brushing a strand of it out of my face, his touch making my heart skip a beat. I smile before I can stop myself. Even though I want to be seen as a professional around him, it’s hard to curb my feelings for him.

I’ve liked him for too long—he’s the kind of guy it’s hard not to smile around, at least for me. He’s smart, handsome, and stupidly sweet. And there’s a protective streak to this guy that I’ve gone head over heels for. It can’t just be brushed aside with the flick of a wrist, no matter how much easier that would make things.

“It was a good shift. You’re doing excellent in your residency.” Jackson says.

“Oh?” I tease. “Is this an early review? I’m flattered.”

“Just a compliment. You put in a lot of hard work and deserve the compliments now and again.”

“Thank you,” I say, earnestly. “It does mean a lot to me.”

I’m half waiting for Jackson to bring up our tryst or to invite me home, but he doesn’t. Instead, he tells me to drive carefully and then heads to his own car. We’ve parked on opposite sides of the lot this time.

My steps feel heavier as I walk away from Jackson and toward my slightly dingy van. It needs to be washed and I need a shower. Funny, that I feel more like mycarright now.After years of fantasizing about this, there’s little amount of glee for finally getting Jackson to sleep with me.

Maybe it’s because I decided during rounds that I’m not going to sleep with Jackson again in an effort to get him to continue viewing me as a professional. Or maybe it’s because I find myself put out that he didn’t try to get me to come home with him.

I know it’s because he’s got Bonnie waiting for him back at the house. He can’t just bring anyone around when his daughter is there.

But despite my decision, and the reasonable reason behind his actions I really like Jackson. I’ve liked Jackson for a really long time, and I would really like it if Jackson showed that he likes me back just as much.

It’s childish, I know.

Trying to erase the thought from my mind for a little bit, I jam the key into the engine, roll down the windows, and crank the radio up as loud as it can go. TODAY’S TOP 100s list drowns out my thoughts as I rip out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

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