Page 5 of Troll Charming

I look at my cell phone; my battery is 22 percent, and I have no signal.

Great.

If I can get a little higher up, maybe I will get a signal then? Maybe enough to send a message. Looking around, I contemplate climbing a tree, then immediately dismiss the thought. My legs are not meant for climbing trees, but all the pines around here have branches that start at almost six feet. Besides, I am starting to feel a little dizzy.

“What do I have to do to get a signal around here!” I yell to the sky.

I knew I should have brought more water. Then, I spot a large rock with a flat top jutting from the ground.I make my way over, inspecting the foot and handholds to get up there.

I check for a signal one more time.

“Shit!”

Nothing.

The rock looks safe enough, though. Dropping my heavy backpack, I scramble ungracefully upward; there is a decent place to stand. But first, I sit and rest for a moment. The view is breathtaking, and I forget my peril.And the dizziness fades a little. But still, I can’t sit here forever. And the sun is beating down. This is not good.

The campsite I booked must be close, I know it. I squint my eyes, looking for anything resembling signs of humanity. But there is nothing. In fact, this whole area just feels weird.

In the distance, I think I see rooftops.

They look, what? Mossy?

But I am beginning to doubt what I see because I feel increasingly delirious. If only I could get some signal. And water. I stand up, trying to stay on my tiptoes on the edge of the rock. If I were a little bit taller, maybe… I hear a slight crunching sound behind me.

I freeze; my worst fear is coming to fruition. Something is going to eat me, or worse. Whatever it is, I must face it. Turning, I see nothing behind me. The breeze moves my hair around my face. I’m in bad shape because I am starting to hallucinate. The forest is empty except for me and my messed-up brain.

And God, I turned too fast. A wave of dizziness hits me again. And I am starting to feel so tired.

Maybe I should sit again.

Then I see movement. Nope, it’s not real, just another trick of the light and my need for water. But then it comes closer, and I can’t comprehend what I see.

Oh, my god, I’m hallucinating.

The thing stalking me holds a sizeable wooden ax in its meaty hand. It is seven feet tall and green, wearing brown pants. What the fuck. Suddenly, an image from the old TV showThe Incredible Hulkflashes through my mind. But this thing is even bigger.

I stare at it as my tired eyes sweep from its startling blue ones and strange but attractive face to its magnificently muscular cut chest and arms that look like a bodybuilder’s dream. Then down further to its—oh, my god! What the hell does it have in its pants?

Now I know I am near death, because I am sure I am looking at some kind of monster. Or maybe I’m in a cartoon?

Is that you, Shrek?

These things do not exist. But look at that bod! And is that a thermos in his pocket, or is he just happy to see me? I wonder what it would feel like to ride something so significant. I am close to passing out now. I must be. I have lost it. My body shivers inexplicably as I look at this mirage. It’s coming at me. I open my mouth to scream as the sexy troll approaches.

But then I slip. Whether it’s my footing or my strength finally giving out, I can’t say. My hands are flailing for a branch or something to stop myself, but it’s no use, and suddenly, I go down. Then, I feel my head hit something hard, and everything turns black.

CHAPTER 4

Iscan the outskirts of the village. It is unheard of for anything or anyone other than magical beings or the many natural creatures of the forest to be able to enter this part of the woods.

As I go deeper toward the ravine, I hear a female voice swearing loudly and complaining that there isn’t any signal on her cell phone. Well, duh, she’s within the magical boundaries of our village. Of course she has no signal. How she managed to get past our wards and spells is another matter. No human should be able to enter here. In fact, no technology would function here, either, just in case. We don’t want pictures taken and used against us in the modern outside world.

I hear the voice again. Something in it seems familiar and strange to me simultaneously.This feeling confuses me, but then I catch movement through the trees and begin to watch from a distance what appears to be a human female fumble and trip through our forest. She seems unconcerned that I am following her, which is of course a mistake. Naturally, I am under strict orders to kill any and all intruders.

As I track her, though, I can’t help but notice how shapely she is. I dare to move closer. She seems unaware.

Voluptuous breasts strain to be free from her purple athletic shirt. Her waist is attractively formed, with curvy hips that move sensuously as she walks. I can’t help but imagine running my large hands over those curves. I feel my pants grow tight as my cock grows hard. The thought of grabbing her, pushing her against a tree, and burying myself between those thighs hits me like a brick.

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