Page 34 of Dawn of Hope

Kohl lines my eyes, and whatever it is she used to thicken my lashes makes me look completely different. Older and more powerful, and it gives me a feeling I’ve never felt before. The dust of gold glitter across my kohl blackened eyelids, completely ties in the dress, and brightens the green of my eyes.

The ties to the bodice pull tightly, and I suck in another breath. I try to focus on what I see in the floor-length mirror as they finish up the laces in the back.

I’ve never felt so stunning, or so much like a princess, before in my life.

Not a princess. A queen.

My eyes sweep over the dress and soak up every inch. Tila has outdone herself. The black satin bodice is sharp and clean, coming to a slight point on either side of my chest, and hugging my waist, the sleek satin accentuating all of my curves until the dress billows out into a huge, full skirt. The fabric ripples like liquid midnight, until it reaches the end, and the stunning design that encircles me.

Black trees, silhouetted by golden sparkles, rise from the hem up the sides of the skirt, mimicking the trees of Blackwood. With every movement, the gold glitters, as if the fabric was made of treasure that catches every speck of light.

My gloved wrists are adorned with gold bracelets, set with black stones that match the long dangling earrings and necklace that sparkle as I move, and are so heavy I don’t know how I will keep from ripping them off by the end of the night.

My stomach tumbles with nerves as I stare at my reflection. The past few weeks have given me a distraction from worrying about tonight. I didn’t have time to think about how I am to be paraded in front of and presented to representatives from all the kingdoms. I didn’t have time to be nervous or remember that my father didn’t want me to prepare to meet the other leaders. I’m only to be a trophy, to stand in front of everyone and secure requests for betrothals and alliances.

After these past few weeks, I know I want more from life than that.

I clench my hands at the thought, not only about seeing and meeting people from other kingdoms for the first time and having to deal with their first impression of me, but also of the loneliness I am about to endure. I wish I could have invited Dane to the ball, but that was impossible. He knows me as Addy, the maid, not Lennox the princess.

I smooth the fabric of my waist as I imagine dancing with him in this dress, surrounded by suitors who hope to catch my interest and secure their future as a king consort, as well as the security and prosperity that Blackwood has to offer.

Tears well in my eyes and I and quickly blink them away. Hopefully Tila and her assistants assume I am just overtaken by the beauty of the gown or nervous about the night and don’t question me.

There is more behind the tears than the daydreams of a life I want surrounded by people I love.

I’d come up with nothing.

All of my hard work trying to find an answer for my mother was worthless. There was nothing in any of the city’s or kingdom’s records that could help her. There has never been a case of anyone staying alive while refusing to wake for as long as she has, and no knowledge of anything to wake her.

I’d failed.

And now that people will see me, will know who I am, there is no more sneaking out of the castle, pretending to be Addy. Someone in the city would surely recognize me and it would get back to my father. Despite my desire to change everything once I am, by Blackwood law, able to be queen, I still am not. There is little I can do if my father’s will goes unchanged.

Not only had I failed, but I had probably seen Dane for the last time. Despite the great evening we had at the tavern, he hadn’t shown up again, and now I was out of time. I couldn’t have invited him to the ball if I wanted to.

My thoughts are interrupted when my eyes catch on Tila in the mirror,approaching me with a black wooden box. “Your father had this made for tonight,” she says as she lifts the lid.

Nestled inside on a bed of black satin is a crown, glittering with diamonds and gold, accented with large teardrop black diamonds dangling from each of the spires. It is breathtaking and matches the dress perfectly. I bend slightly so Tila can place it on my head.

When I rise and my eyes find my own in the glass before me, the breath is sucked from my chest.

I don’t see myself anymore.

I see a queen.

This feeling, this confidence, needs to get me through the night, and help me show all of these people who are inevitably judging me how competent and prepared I truly am. I will show all the other kingdoms that I am ready for this, ready to be one of them, but most importantly, I will show my father.

“Our work here is done,” Tila says as she signals her assistants to gather their things. I reach out and grasp her hand. She looks over at me, a look of concern on her face.

“Thank you, Tila,” I whisper, and give her hand a small squeeze.

“You are most welcome, Princess,” she says with a smile and a deep curtsey. She squeezes my hand back before letting go and moving toward the door. “You have some time before you’ll be called. We finished earlier than expected. Please take care. We don’t want to be rushing to do touch-ups prior to your grand entrance.”

“I’ll do my best not to mess anything up.” I smirk at her over my shoulder. “No promises.”

She sighs, shaking her head, and leaves my room, closing the door behind her. I’d ruined enough of Tila’s designs as a child that she knows anything can happen. This time, it was only a joke. There is no way I want to ruin this masterpiece. Not tonight.

The silence of my room envelops me, feeling thick and slightly ominous. Now the waiting begins until the ceremony and ball commence,but the emotions of the day are starting to overwhelm me. The anxiety and pressure to make the ceremony perfect weighs on me, and underneath it all is the constant gnawing reminder of my failure. This is no way to spend your birthday, especially such an important one.

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