Page 123 of Dawn of Hope

All of this would really have been for nothing. Doubt creeps over me, dimming the hope I had been grasping tightly onto.

A small glass vial appears from thin air and balances on the edge of the bowl. I pick it up and run my fingers over it. It amazes me that such a small amount of water would cure anything.

I drag my eyes to the spout and wait.

This is it, the moment of truth.

I hold my breath, waiting for the water to flow.

Please. Please.

I beg. I urge. I focus all of my energy on willing that water to flow. I stare at the spout, for I don’t know how long.

It doesn’t.

I clutch my chest as it implodes and fall forward, bracing myself on the edge of the bowl. My fingers grip it tightly, and sobs wrench through my body.

No. This can’t be happening.

I’m not worthy.

I look up through blurry tears at the spout, reaching out to touch it. It is bone dry, not a speck of water flowed.

Dawnlin thinks I am not worthy.

This was it. My last hope shattered.

Why wasn’t I worthy? What more could I have done? I want to save my mother, to bring her back to my father, and give myself a chance at a happy life with a loving parent. Did the island think my intentions are selfish? Isn’t everyone here for a somewhat selfish reason, so they don’t lose someone they love?

Why was it not enough?

If empty handed you leave by dust, in the magic of Dawnlin you must trust.

The last sentence echoes through my mind.

Trust? How can I trust it? I am angry and hurt. How is it fair for the island to determine whether my mother deserves to live or die?

I swipe angrily at my tears and push myself away from the bowl, and stumble back into the center of the room.

I’d done everything I could. I’d searched for answers from our world, I sought out texts and knowledge from healers all over. I even had hope for magic. It was all in vain.

The life that I knew back in Blackwood would not change.

I would return empty-handed, with no good explanation for why I disappeared from my duty for months.

I don’t have to return.

What is truly waiting for me back in my kingdom? A father who doesn’t care about me, who doesn’t believe I am capable of becoming queen? A lonely castle, an empty life, a loveless arranged marriage?

I don’t have to go back.

If no one thinks I am worthy, I don’t have to live the life that has been chosen for me. My father, Dawnlin, the kingdom, they can all think what they want.

I am going to choose a new path.

I am going to tell Dane I made up my mind.

I am staying.

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