Page 66 of David's Proposal

You get nothing for months and lose yourself so easily in the routines of daily life. And then your sanity is tested by bad people. And the moment you feel attracted to someone, life says…‘But look who we have over here.’

Seriously?

I smile to myself.

And if tomorrow, David goes poof, and I call this guy, Vale, to just hang out, do you know what will happen?

I’ll find out he has a girlfriend or an ex who’d like to get back together with him.

I laugh.

Life has a way of screwing things up, permanently testing your patience and resilience while baiting you incessantly.

Even if I had both men and none of that crap happened, they’d still not be‘My Man’in the end.

It’s better to write about this stuff, then think about it in real life terms.

At least he took my mind off David and his lady friend tonight.

Life is complicated with these men, and getting their attention even for a second is so addictive.

“You can drop me off over there,” I say as the driver veers into my neighborhood.

He pulls his car to a stop, and I pay with my phone and walk out before he moves away.

The night air kisses my face, and I’m stuck in a moment of reflection as I try to envision how my life would look if I started from scratch.

If there were no memories.

No David.

No failed relationships in the past.

What if life was good, and Chloe was here?And my book was half-written?

What if my book was complete and had half of Rain's book’s success?

For a moment, the clicking of my heels against the sidewalk fades as I slow down and think about it.

Yeah… What would my life look like?

How would it be?

Would I finish school?

Take a gap year?

Move out of Colorado?

Try to live in a quaint beach town?

Will I still meet David in secret?

Or would I be single again?

Would I look for someone like Vale to hang out with, spend time at the beach, watch the sunset from the porch, and drink margaritas and ice tea before making love in a room littered with fairy lights, not getting enough of him?

I stop completely.

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