Page 26 of Yours, Truly

Ivy nodded before looking into her coffee. Despite mine and Nate’s distance right now, I cared deeply about him. Thinking about this man that I loved, hurting, putting himself on a path of destruction tore me up inside, but I couldn’t do anything.

Did I really want to make this another problem in the long list of my own issues? No, my focus was Ivy. Nate was a grown ass man and if he wanted to act like a child that was his choice. Right?He knows right from wrong Gigi, he’s a lawyer for fuck sakes.My blood boiled that he could do this, to himself, to Ivy, to me.

“Ivy, I'm here if you need me, okay?” She nodded, reaching for my hand across the coffee table. We were at our usual Starbucks, just a short walk from the tube station. It was busy for a Saturday lunchtime but was the perfect spot. We always used to meet for coffees and chats when life got busy. It was to the point that my caramel latte was regularly recognised by more than one member of staff, that we didn’t even have to ask for it.

“I'm sorry that I embarrassed you too, your dating life is your business” she finally spoke up.

“About that, I want you to set me up.” I smiled, ready to give in. I clearly couldn’t find, let alone keep a man when I had him. And who knows, it could be fun. Ivy knew me better than anyone so I trusted her with this process. Plus, a new year, a new start and plenty of resolutions to break; might as well start with making a good choice. This also gave her something to focus on other than worrying about Nate.

And that’s when a slight feeling of guilt washed over me at the thought of actually moving on. I needed to get over him and this way I could actually open up to my best friend about dating crap.

“I'm done with meaningless things. I want something like you and Jude have.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing deep down Ididwant what Jude and Ivy had but not with someone else, with Nate. Ivy couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Zak has been asking about you since the engagement party, he wants to get to know you.” It was like she’d wanted this all along. I wondered how much her and Jude had spoken about me to Zak. It kind of hit a nerve that my sister was right after all. Ididneed help being set up, it clearly wasn’t something I could do for myself.

She called Jude in front of me. “Jude… Text Zak and tell him a date is happening!” She squealed before hanging up. She snatched her car keys off the side and shooed me out of the coffee store. "Dress shopping now! It’s on me!" I put on my biggest fake smile and played along, but inside all I felt was numb.

For the rest of the afternoon, I allowed Ivy to style me, dress, accessories, hair and make-up as if I was one of her barbie dolls. I was Ivy’s project for this date, so I let her have fun. She told me a bit about Zak while she fussed around me. Jude had spoken a lot about his childhood friend and Ivy had hung out with him quite a bit too. She wouldn’t set me up to fail.

Still, the only thing on my mind was Nate, I wished he wasn’t but I couldn’t control it. I wished it was a date with him, that I was getting myself dressed up for him, not some innocent bystander who is sure to be a casualty of this train wreck. Hewas interested in me but I wasn't interested in him.

Pretty ironic huh?

20

THE DATE NIGHT

‘Date Night’ arrived not even a week later, Friday night to be exact. Ivy came round to mine to get me ready. I was so nervous. I hadn’t technically been on a date for a couple years since Kyle. I hadn’t even been on a date with Nate.

Ivy blow dried my hair, letting the soft curls bounce over my shoulders. She slipped me into the little black dress, zipping up the back for me. I smoothed it down as it hugged my figure, the elegant mesh panel teasing just a bit of skin on my torso. My heart stopped as Ivy presented me with red lipstick. The exact look I had with Nate that first night. Black figure-hugging dress, red lipstick, curls loose on my shoulders, the image was uncanny.

Ivy took a look at her masterpiece, clapping her hands together, but not before she shoved a small handful of condoms in my clutch. I rolledmy eyes at her.

“What? You should always be prepared!” I chuckled at her. Putting out on a first date that wasn’t me. But then again, a lot of things weren’tmelately. Zak had texted me the restaurant details so I could scan over the menu in advance, which I’m guessing meant Ivy had tipped him off about that little quirk of mine. He offered to swing by and pick me up so we could drive to the small bar and restaurant together.

Ivy had disappeared after she was happy with her work and I waited nervously, pacing the living room until the doorbell rang. Zak, the perfect gentleman, had bought me a small bouquet of flowers which I popped in a vase of water before we headed out. He was dressed to impress. A smart black suit and tie with a soft scent of a cologne I recognised. Hugo fucking Boss.Great thank you universe. Now he has to wear the same cologne as Nate?His man bun was as neat as he could get it and if I was being honest, he looked good.

“You ready?” he asked in his deep voice. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, following him out of the door to his car.

We were seated in a tight, booth style table, secluded underneath a giant cherry blossom tree. The restaurant had many trees on display, which made it unique but also kind of enchantingly. Beautiful, like something out of a fairytale.

We ordered some drinks to start, I needed some kind of liquid courage. I had decided to order a cocktail called Mermaid Lagoon; it was a blue concoction that had edible glitter and some fish ice cubes floating around, the rim of the glass wascovered in orange, pink and purple sprinkles. It had rum in it from what I could guess and had a sweet tropical flavour burst. It was fun! If this was the cocktail, I couldn't wait to see the menu and food itself. I hadn’t actually looked at it before, despite my usual habit. I wanted to be spontaneous.

Everything had an amazing name; the drinks were named after all thing’s fairytale; the dishes after things in nature, making everything even more magical.A good choice Zak. I was pretty impressed.

“I'm so glad you agreed to a date,” he smiled, looking me over one more time. “You look incredible.” His compliment made me blush a little. I wasn’t used to being complimented by men but lately it seemed to be the norm. I took my cocktail and drank a sip trying to contain my smirk.

“You look good yourself.” I complimented him back. He was a vision, his man bun kind of a turn on, dimples forming as he grinned, ecstatic that I found him attractive too. Or maybe he was just an over confident, cheeky chap.

We ordered food and chatted about anything and everything. He told me more about his job, working his way up from being a street cop to a big-time detective, with some cases being interesting and some being so disturbing it wasn’t for the faint hearted. He was more interesting than he was on that first meet at Ivy’s engagement party, he seemed to have become very comfortable, less small talk and more real talk.

He opened up about his hobbies too. He was part of the local rugby club, his physique now making sense and he may havementioned his love of reading in a coffee shop; he was definitely not who I had thought.

Zak was a great guy, pretty perfect in fact and maybe just maybe, Ivy knew what she was doing. She knew what I needed. He also told me about his childhood. He was adventurous, out-going and everything seemed to be ticking the boxes.

On paper, he was perfect for me; he wanted a big family, to get married and move just outside the city in a suburban area to raise a family. He was everything I had previously wished for. But he wasn’t Nate. There was no spark, no butterflies. No matter how hard I tried, the chemistry just wasn’t there. With Nate it was like a nuclear fusion, the energy was so powerful it couldn’t be contained. With Zak, no reaction, not even a small charge.

Our food arrived and, despite my realisation, the date flowed nicely. We laughed and talked more and as I shared some more about myself, I knew this would be a great friendship, my mind fighting with me as it replayed Nate’s words.You will crave me every second of your life…mundane…

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