Page 47 of First Comes Forever

“Shit. Sorry, buddy,” Adam says. I reach for Carson, but Adam’s faster, rushing to the other side of the bed to scoop up a crying Carson. I sink further into the mattress as he scours the floppy bed and scowls. “What is wrong with this thing?”

“I’m convinced there’s a tiny hole somewhere, but I can’t find it. I just have to pump it back up once a night.” I shrug. “It’s fine.”

“It’s crazy,” Adam replies. “You should toss it and buy a real bed.”

“And what do I do with a real bed when I leave in a couple of months? I’m not strapping a mattress on top of my car and driving it across the country.”

“Based on the current condition of your car, you’re not driving it anywhere. Period.”

Fuck. Yet another problem to solve. I can barely afford Mom’s treatment as it is. IVF is going to cost a huge chunk of money I don’t have. Not to mention it’s not a guarantee. And even if I did get pregnant, it’d probably be a good idea to have reliable transportation to bring the baby home. Come to think of it, when I get back to Denver, I’ll also need a home.Okay, shit.There’s only one solution here. I need more money.

Adam’s phone rings again, and he sets a blotchy-cheeked Carson down on his two feet before finding his phone on the kitchen counter. Carson immediately lunges into me, trying to tackle me backward into the mattress.

“Look at you giggling now,” I say, tickling behind his ear. “Those were crocodile tears, huh?”

“Croc-tile,” Carson repeats. His eyes light up at the mention of one of his favorite words.

“Craw-co-dial,” I sound out for him slowly. Jonah, Noa’s son, used to call crocodiles “Coco-Dials.” He was well past Carson’s age before he could say it properly. It broke my heart the day I heard Jonah say crocodile with perfect pronunciation, knowing the baby years were behind us. Jonah was the first baby I watched grow up. I was there the day he was born, the day he finally left the hospital after weeks of preemie care, his first words, his first birthday. Really, I should blame Noa and Jonah for my baby fever. They planted the seed years ago.

“Alex is on his way up. His appointment canceled,” Adam says, setting his phone back down and rummaging through the cabinets before opening the pantry door. “Do you have coffee here? I thought you said you picked up a few groceries before the move.”

“I did. Crunchberries, Sour Cream and Onion chips, juice boxes, Pop-Tarts, and milk.”

His brows furrow. “That’s what you live off of? That’s the grocery list of a broke college kid with the munchies.”

“Excuse me,” I say while scowling. “I know how to eat like an adult. My diet was very boring and healthy to help my chances with IUI. Now that I’m on a short break, I’m being rebellious. Sue me.”

“Healthy doesn’t have to be boring. Maybe we can all go to breakfast when Alex gets here. There’s a brunch place close by I bet you’d love,” he says, leaning back against the kitchen island facing me.

“You’re determined to educate me on fine dining, aren’t you?”

He laughs. “Perhaps, but not necessarily on fine dining, justgoodfood. The best steak I’ve ever had in my life was from a food truck during a summer festival in Long Beach. I shit you not. I like exploring. Life’s too short for In-N-Out Burger.”

Feigning offense, I say, “In-N-Out Burger is a major food group. Top of the pyramid, my friend.”

“Dear Lord,” he says with a soft chuckle. “We have a lot of work to do.”

There’s a lull as I linger on his smooth, muscular chest, contracting and relaxing as he laughs. My eyes drop to the deep divots of his abs. I would’ve never guessed Adam was so in shape. His business suits certainly hide his sexy physique. He must notice me devouring him with my eyes because suddenly he makes a beeline to his crumpled shirt on the ground.

“Sorry,” I mutter, diverting my attention to Carson, who is still curled up in my lap.

Adam yanks his shirt over his head, pushing his arms through the sleeves one by one. “Don’t be. I just don’t want to give Alex the wrong impression.”

Right on cue, there’s a soft knock on the door and Adam turns to answer it.

“What wrong impression?” I ask.

“Like something happened between us last night,” he says over his shoulder.

I mean, we cuddled. That’s not sex, but it’s still something, right?

“Hey,” Adam says, greeting Alex at the door. “Come in. Everyone is up.”

I chuckle as Alex ruffles Adam’s hair with playful condescension, the way big brothers do, followed by Adam smacking his arm away. Maybe one baby isn’t enough. Maybe I need at least two. Adam loves his nephew like he’s his own. I want my family to be like that one day.

“Hey, bubba,” Alex singsongs as he makes his way over to me and Carson, still sitting on the mattress. “Did you miss Daddy?” Alex reaches out with both arms for his son.

Carson replies by burying his head into my chest and wrapping all of his little limbs around me, squeezing as hard as he can, refusing to let go. “No,” he cries into my chest. “No go. No go.”

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