Page 42 of First Comes Forever

“I’m okay. I’m not in any pain, and I’m not afraid.”

I knew.I wanted to hear it again, but I knew. I sigh in relief. “Good, Dad. I’m glad.” Reaching over, I pick up the small lighter and fidget with it until I see a flame. I light the wicks one by one. “You only liked apple pie when Mom made it.”

“Hmm?” he asks.

“For the pie filling, most people slice the apples thin, so they cook through all the way and get soft. But Mom used to cut the apples into cubes. You always said you like a little chew to your pie. But Alex—”

“That’s right,” Dad says, laughing and bobbing his head. “Alex hated the cubes. He liked his pie mushy and gooey, and your mom wouldn’t make either of us suffer. She’d make two pies.”

I smile. Yeah, I guess Mom had her moments. “You should know, Alex didn’t take a fellowship in plastics for the money. It was because the fellowship was in L.A. Close to me and you. Cardiothoracics would’ve taken him across the country.”

Guilt washes across his face. “You stayed for me, too?”

“Nah,” I say with a playful shrug. “L.A. is the breeding ground for actors and actresses. It’s where I belong.”

“Did that one client ever pan out for you? The one you were raving about?” Dad furrows his brows, desperately trying to find the words on the tip of his tongue. “Ford something…Jack, I believe? Jack Ford?”

“Chase,” I correct. “He’s a superstar. His net worth is well into eight figures.”

Dad beams at me. “That’s great. All because of my boy.”

I smile back. “Because of Chase… And maybe a little because of me.” I lift one shoulder.Okay, a lot because of me.But I can’t do what he does. I’ve tried. Acting is not my strength. Together, we make a good team. “Truth be told, I do everything else so Chase can just act. He’s very talented, but it takes a team to keep him focused and protected from all the unnecessary bullshit, you know? The entertainment industry is a brutal place. But we manage. We have our little family.”

All traces of humor disappear from his face. Dad says suddenly, “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“What happened with Liv. Your other family. I wasn’t there for you.”

I shake my head. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.” More specifically, I didn’t tell him. Dad started showing severe symptoms about two weeks before Liv obliterated our marriage with her confession. I dealt with it quietly. I didn’t tell anyone what was going on until well after the fact. Alex was buried in his surgical program, so fucking stressed out. I had just started working with Chase. He put his trust in me. I didn’t want him to think I was unstable. So I coped quietly. Or maybe I never really coped. I don’t know.

“I can’t imagine the grieving, son.”

I squint at him. “The baby didn’t die, Dad. There was nothing to grieve over.”

He raises his brows and clears his throat. “I grieved when your mother left us.”

I want to say the circumstances were different, but were they? Both were betrayals by women we loved.

“Adam,” Dad continues, “I had toreallygrieve to forgive myself.”

“Forgive yourself? I can’t believe you just said that. You worked day and night building a really nice life for your family. Mom didn’t appreciate it. She walked away like it was nothing, then you had to pick up all the pieces by yourself. What the hell would you need forgiveness for?”

“Your mother raised Alex while I was finishing medical school, studying for exams, then working grueling hours in my internship and residency. Then you came along, and I opened my practice. I wasn’t just a doctor. I became a business owner too. Maybe she left to give me a taste of my own medicine.”

“What?”

Dad sighs. “Maybe she wanted me to feel what it was like to raise children alone.”

I scoff. “That’s not an excuse.”

“She was hurting for a long time, and I didn’t notice. We talked, years later. Did I ever tell you that? You were around eleven when your mother and I met for lunch. She wasn’t asking for forgiveness, she didn’t think she deserved it, but she just wanted to explain. All that time your mother felt trapped, abandoned, unappreciated, and I should’ve taken it more seriously, Adam. My absence drove her away, and yes, she took the cowardly way out, but my point is—there’s a reason why she wanted out. I wasn’t there for her. I was there for work.”

I can’t tell if he’s being tactless or purposely accusing. “Are you talking about Mom…or Liv? Because based on what you just said, I drove my wife right into the arms of another man.”

Dad shakes his head slowly. “Not at all, son. I love you. And I’m sorry she hurt you the way she did. I’m just saying, grieve. Then move on. Don’t let unforgiveness rule your life because you’ll end up like me.”

“Like what?”

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