Page 120 of First Comes Forever

“To apologize.”

She presses her lips together, her eyes growing big as her forehead wrinkles in surprise. “What?”

“Liv, what you did—”

“I know, I know,” she whispers in a plea. “I ruined everything. It was completely my fault. Adam, you were perfect, and I must’ve lost my damn mind. I look back and I can’t make sense of anything I did. I just…” She covers her face with both hands, sucking in short heaves. “I still compare every man to you, and everyone falls short. I want you to know that I’ll never forgive myself.Ever,” she says into her fingers.

I reach over the table and pull her wet hands from her face. Squeezing her hands gently, I make sure she’s looking into my eyes. “Liv, you can forgive yourself now. Because I do.I forgive you.And I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. Yes, you hurt me, but I wish I would’ve been more concerned with doing the right thing instead of punishing you.”

She grips my hands so tightly, the tips of my fingers lose pigment. “What was the right thing?”

“We may not have been able to salvage our marriage, but Summer deserved better. I should’ve been there when she was born. No woman should go through that alone. And I just needed to tell you that even though you messed up…so did I. We were both selfish in different ways. So can you forgive me, too? So I can move forward.”

Tilting her head to the side, she scours my face. Liv drops my hands and holds the edge of the table. “Oh, I see… I take it you finally fell in love again?”

I duck my head in a small nod. “I’ve been carrying around this burden for eight years. Guilt and anger had me shackled, and I just want to let go of it. When I say I wish you well, Liv, I mean it. We both deserve happiness.”

She sucks in her lips and gives me a weak smile, and I understand the sad expression on her face.

“You thought I came here to get you back, didn’t you?”

“I hoped. You were my first true love, Adam. You’ll always have a part of my heart.” She shrugs innocently. “But what’s her name?”

“Amani.”

“Amani,” she repeats. “Pretty name.” Liv runs her fingers over the edge of the dark wood table. “Thank you, Adam. I don’t think you need my forgiveness, but if you’re asking, you have it. And as for Summer, you don’t need to feel guilty. We’re okay. She turned out just fine. Smart, beautiful, and she’s so kind. She tries to take care of everyone around her. It’s the kind of compassion you can’t teach. She was just born with it.”

I lean back in the booth. “Do you have pictures? Could I see what she looks like?”

Liv nods and slides out of the booth. I expect her to fetch her purse and pull out her phone to show me pictures, but instead, she walks across the restaurant to the waitresses. She hunches over, speaking to the person I can’t see. I’m surprised when she holds her hand out and helps a little girl wiggle out of the booth.

Shock makes my body tense and my mouth goes dry.She’s here?I certainly didn’t expect to meet her today…or ever. But now the little girl, that should’ve been my little girl, is walking toward me. A tiny replica of Liv wearing a pretty blue sundress, with her long blond hair pulled into pigtails. In a panic, I stand and wipe my sweating palms against my pants. I’m suddenly unsure of what to say or do. This child I’ve never met has played such a pivotal role in my life for the past eight years. And I never even knew what she looked like.

She’s beautiful.

Once they are in front of me, Liv squats down and speaks to her daughter. “Summer, this is Mommy’s friend, Adam. He knew you really well when you were still in my tummy. He wanted to see you all grown up.”

“Hey, Sunshine,” I breathe out, unable to stop myself. My nickname for the baby falls off my lips.

She giggles and points to her chest. “Not Sunshine.I’m Summer.”

“Sunshine is the nickname Adam used to call you,” Liv explains.

“It’s really nice to meet you.” Feeling more out of place than imaginable, I hold out my hand to shake Summer’s.

She doesn’t take it. “Do you like hugs?” she asks me in the sweetest little voice.

I squat down so I’m eye level with her baby blues. “I love hugs.”

My words are an invitation and she rams into me, nearly knocking me off balance. I rest my chin on her little shoulder and hug her tightly. I breathe in and out slowly, trying not to succumb to my emotions. I’m not a big crier…but I could cry right now. I tell her in a whisper, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Me too,” she whispers back.

I shoot Liv a puzzled look and she shrugs. “Lately, she says that every time someone apologizes.”

I laugh, jostling Summer still tucked into my embrace. Leaning back, I smooth her pigtails and take a moment to appreciate her bubbly pink cheeks and big, bright eyes. “You are a very pretty little girl.”

“Thank you,” she chirps.

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