Page 90 of First Comes Forever

I shrug. “I guess.”

She rolls her eyes. “Who do you think convinced him to go get her?”

“You?” I ask in disbelief.

“I kept running back to Chase all these years because in an industry filled with dickheads, Chase is actually a good guy. He’s always had a genuine heart. But deep down, I knew he wasn’t my destiny.But she is.” Kayla smiles at Presley, looking at her like she’s the last light left in the world. “No other man would’ve helped me through all this like Chase did. I’m grateful, and I wanted to help him get his happily ever after, too.”

“Wow, Kayla. You’re making it pretty easy not to hate you at the moment.”

“Thank you?” she asks.

I laugh. “You’re welcome. Okay, well, do you want me to go make you a plate of food? I got a variety of everything and extra dumplings.” I look around the room. “Then I can help you clean this place up a little. Maybe we can crack a window? It smells like a monkey cage in here.”

Kayla laughs. “Actually, can you hold her so I can take a shower? My back is killing me, but she’ll only sleep in someone’s arms.”

I hesitate. I didn’t touch Presley at the hospital because she was so damn tiny. The fear of breaking her or dropping her outweighed any desire to hold her. She’s barely any bigger now. I’m not sure what to do. I learned a lot about the pregnancy part during my marriage, but I didn’t make it to the baby part with Liv.

“Maybe we can put her in the bassinet? I’ll watch her while you do whatever.”

Kayla scowls. “See? You’re giving ‘I hate babies’ vibes right now.”

“It’s not that. She’s so small. I’m nervous.”

“Oh, don’t be. Here, I’ll help you.” She gestures with her head to the space next to her on the bed. “Get comfy.”

I crawl up the still made side of the bed. Sitting upright, I rest my back against the cloth headboard. “Okay. I’m good.”

Kayla stands, Presley still secured in her arms. She winces a little as she walks around the bed to my side.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, they literally cut me open and removed a human from my body. I’m going to be sore for a while.” She grimaces as she takes another step. “Which arm for her head?”

I pat my left shoulder, trying to make a comfortable nook with the inside of my elbow.

“Adam, just relax. She’s not a particularly wiggly baby yet, so you should be fine. If you get too nervous, just lay her flat on her back on the bed and sit with her.”

I nod. “Okay.” I’m not sure why I’m so intimidated. I’ve held Carson about a million times. Then again, I can’t remember picking him up until he had decent trunk control. But I don’t think Carson was ever this tiny.

Kayla places a swaddled Presley in my arms, and she lets out a sweet little sigh.

“Look at that,” Kayla says. “She already likes you, and thank God I’m free for a moment.” Kayla stretches her arms overhead. “Strap in, buddy, I’m going to take the world’s longest shower.”

The moment Kayla closes the bathroom door, Presley’s little green eyes pop open. I freeze, bracing for the loud wail that I’m sure is about to follow. I feel bad for Kayla. She needs to shower, eat, and probably sleep a bit. That’s why I’m here, but now her baby is about to scream for her to come right back.

To my surprise, Presley doesn’t make a sound. Instead, she smiles at me as she pokes her little tongue out. She turns her head, trying to bury her face in my chest. It takes me a moment to realize she’s searching for my nipple.

I chuckle. “There’s no milk in there, sweetie. I’m sorry. Can we let your mommy at least take a shower first? Then we’ll get you some dinner.”

She’s still trying to latch onto me, but I gently rock her the best I can in this position to distract her. Loosening her swaddle a little, I free her arm and she entertains herself by swinging her tiny fist around. This is much easier than I thought it’d be. Some sort of primal confidence replaces my timidness. My whole life’s purpose at the moment is protecting this little human.

This strange feeling Chase and Kayla must have right now. The one I know Tara and Alex developed with Carson. It’s the total and complete satisfaction of knowing every hard thing in life is worth overcoming for this little person you created. This is what Liv robbed me of. After all this time, the desire is still there. Maybe I want Amani to become pregnant so I can be more than an uncle. I desperately want her to need me the way I need her, too.

I hear the shower running and Kayla calls through the door. “Are you okay out there?”

“I’m good, Kayla,” I call back, watching Presley’s tiny pink lips curl into a smile. “Take your time.”

twenty-five

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